Nevermind The Tater Tots...

the following post was originally titled 'nevermind the tater tots: i want to know about the toilet paper.' it was posted on a blog called 'barefoot and...' on 7/13/07 by chris in north carolina.
"The other day I was reading an issue of People magazine (it's educational, you know) and they had an article on the Duggars. Apparently Mama Duggar and man-stud Jim Bob are expecting baby number seventeen. Or baby eighteen. At this point, the number is really not important as you can be rest assured that said baby's status in the Duggar household will be short-lived and he will be cast aside like a stained onesie at a garage sale once weaned, leaving Mama Duggar to get her insatiable baby fix from the next baby and the next until her uterus drops to the floor and tells both Madame Duggar and Jim Bob to eff off for good and takes off for Mexico with the first truck driver who picks it up while hitchhiking on I-40.

That poor uterus.

Whatever number baby it was, the article was accompanied by a list of various and sundry items the family goes through a month including, and I am liberally paraphrasing here because I don't expect you to fact check this, about 3000 pounds of tater tots, thirteen tubs of Crisco, and 14 dozen jars of Miracle Whip. But what I am not paraphrasing is this: The Duggars ONLY use twelve rolls of toilet paper. TWELVE. How is that even possible? I can personally go through that much in a week. Now admittedly, when I grab a wad of toilet paper, it's likely to resemble a pom pom. And not the new kind of tiny pom poms that today's wimpy cheerleaders carry. I'm talking about the old school kind from back when I was a youngster, the big-assed kind that are easily four times bigger than your head. Yeah, that much toilet paper.

So maybe the Duggars are more economical than I am. I understand that. But assuming that there are at least eighteen ass wipers in the Duggar household (if the smallest Duggar is still in diapers), that's still slightly less than half a roll a week. Paris Hilton got more than that in jail and you know what a tragedy that was!

Um, anyway, that's all I've got on that. It's just that I've been mulling over this for a while and I really had to get it off my chest. I'd like to write more about it, but I just realized my left boob is still hanging out from my pumping session a few minutes ago and I have to reign it in.

Before it takes off for Mexico."

i'm back, butter here, it's me again... while doing research for the earlier post on said topic, i came across this blog entry and felt that it was worthy of posting. funny how year old news is new again. if you have a minute, follow the link at the top to the original blog; the comments are priceless!