mr. big...

Monday, November 19, 2007


a last minute dinner party the other night sent me in search of shrimp. as you can imagine from previous posts, i had every intent to steer clear of the elustrious shop 'n' bag. besides the fact that i didn't want to kill my guests with some 2 month old "fresh" shrimp from the place, i honestly didn't have time to peel, devain and prepare 15 pounds of shrimp on top of all the other things that i needed to do. so i decided to head over to the wonderous restaurant depot. that's where this story begins... i grabbed an industrial sized shopping cart and headed inside with my list. i grabbed the produce i needed and a couple cans of san marzano tomatoes. oh look! fleur de sel is on sale, so of course i grab a box. i'm almost finished, just need shrimp. so i'm in the frozen seafood area, in case you aren't familiar, the restaurant depot is like a grocery store for restaurants, so everything is big, much better quality than your grocery store, and much more affordable. anyway, i'm not really experienced in the frozen shrimp buying business, so i'm reading the boxes and comparing the brands, when this super-psyched guy comes over and gives me his opinion on which box of shrimp i have to buy. he gives me some pretty believable b.s. about the brands and i decide to take his word for it. then we start talking. 'john' tells me he bought a restaurant a few months ago, a 40 seat italian b.y.o.b. says he uses these frozen shrimp all the time in his place. among other things, he tells me he makes spaghetti sauce, and yes, that's what he called it, from hunt's ketchup and FROZEN TOMATOES! i just kept shaking my head as he excitedly kept on going. little did i know that it was going to get even better. so i asked about his menu, and he tells me that he does everything big. "it's gotta be big, i love everything big!" he continues, thinking that i am uber-impressed with him and his creations and that i'm extremely jealous; "i have 32oz. pork chops and 18-20oz. fish portions and 40 oz. steaks. i told you i like everything big!" he says. i was disgusted. who goes out to dinner and finishes a 32oz. pork chop? that's 2 pounds of pork! 18-20oz. of fish? are you kidding? try 8-12oz. in a real restaurant. i can only imagine his food cost, it's got to be through the roof. he gave me his card and told me to go in for dinner, i think i'll pass. if for no other reason, the guy was annoying. this guy has a complex that he feels he needs to impress people with big, big, big. people who truly appreciate a good meal, are looking for quality, NOT quantity. but maybe i'm wrong, maybe in the 51st state of south jersey, a pound of dog shit tastes better than an ounce of caviar. if that's the case, i stand corrected. today i salute you, mr. giant pork chop cooker...

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