Bring On the Carnies!

where do i go from here? the olympics are officially over. the official unofficial end of the summer is only one week away. and although summer isn't actually over until september 23, i can't wait for those first hints of the new season; the chilly breezes, the falling leaves, and of course nothing, and i mean nothing, says "fall is here" like a band of carnies.

and what follows a band of carnies? but a carnival of course. and what comes with a carnival? but some of the greasiest (and delicious) "food" to be had on the planet. whenever i even hear the word carnival, the first thing that pops into my mind is zeppoles. something that i recently realized is actually more like new jersey carnival food, as opposed to carnival food in general. i hope that you are one of the lucky ones to have ever experienced a zeppole.

and with that being said, there are few things in the universe more evil than carnival food. why do they feed us deep-fried sugary food before we get on rides that spin us around and around? why is it that carnies aren't all 500 lbs.? must be the meth. being the health nut that i am, (sarcasm completely implied), i found this list in newsweek and thought that i'd share. **note: zeppoles are not listed, making their deep fried doughy goodness and obviously healthy choice.

the 7 most unhealthy carnival foods.

7. cotton candy- one large cone of spun sugar is 200 calories. it's practically health food. so ditch those carrot sticks and grab yourself some candy fiberglass!

6. snow cones- the sugary syrup used is 100 calories an ounce. a 12 oz. snow cone will end up being 550 calories, depending on how syrup-heavy you take it. just remember fellas: blue tongues help you pick up chicks.

5. corn dogs- a.k.a the "nitratesicle" contains 375 calories and 21 grams of fat and 1170 mg of sodium. with all that salt, be sure to save your leftovers to de-ice your driveway. winter is just around the corner!

4. deep fried twinkie- one deep fried twinkie contains 420 calories and 32 grams of fat. that doesn't include any sugar or jelly topping. not bad when you think about it, considering a twinkie straight out of the pack has 419 calories and 31 grams of fat, and those are only half as delicious.

3. deep fried oreos- each cookie contains 157 calories and 10.1 grams of fat. really? seriously? honestly? do you care? me neither.

2. funnel cake- an 8.3 oz. cake contains 760 calories, 44 grams of fat, 80 grams of carbs and 20 mg. of cholesterol. that's no big deal, just make sure that next time you order a funnel cake, you tell the carny that you only want an 8.3 oz. funnel cake. i'm sure that they have a scale. and they can count to 8.3.

1. deep fried candy bars- everything from snickers, mars, milkyway and 3 musketeers is deep-fried and slapped on a stick. a king-size, deep-fried bar has over 700 calories and 44 grams of fat. but have you ever tried making one of those? it's a pain in the ass. so the calories of the "king size" are worth not having to clean up the disaster area in your kitchen. see folks? there's always a bright side.

[newsweek]