Showing posts with label summer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label summer. Show all posts

"I Don't Have Any Money!" [Drafts of '08]

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

if only i could remember the entire story... this would have been about a trip down my beloved i-95 that included a stop at the deleware rest area, and not one, but two(!!) people begging me for gas money. on a trip, that i do recall, was not financed by myself. and one jackass, in a brand new range rover said, "well, don't you got plastic yo?" or something along those lines. the other begger was in a bigass suv covered in jesus is lord bumper stickers. makes me wonder... if jesus is really YOUR lord, why are you begging for gas money in the middle of deleware? i'll stick with annoucing religious affiliation as being "spiritual."

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brew-thru [Drafts of '08]


this was going to be about my cherry poppin' trip to the outer banks in north carolina this summer. brew-thru's are exactly what they sound like, drive thru beer joints. why the fcuk does the jersey shore not have these??? business opportunity? I THINK SO.

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I'm Back & Burnt...

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

...to a crisp.

it even makes sleeping difficult.

but i'll be posting some goodies tonight. i hope you had a great labor day weekend. the sadly unofficial end of summer has come and gone...

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Bring On the Carnies!

Monday, August 25, 2008

where do i go from here? the olympics are officially over. the official unofficial end of the summer is only one week away. and although summer isn't actually over until september 23, i can't wait for those first hints of the new season; the chilly breezes, the falling leaves, and of course nothing, and i mean nothing, says "fall is here" like a band of carnies.

and what follows a band of carnies? but a carnival of course. and what comes with a carnival? but some of the greasiest (and delicious) "food" to be had on the planet. whenever i even hear the word carnival, the first thing that pops into my mind is zeppoles. something that i recently realized is actually more like new jersey carnival food, as opposed to carnival food in general. i hope that you are one of the lucky ones to have ever experienced a zeppole.

and with that being said, there are few things in the universe more evil than carnival food. why do they feed us deep-fried sugary food before we get on rides that spin us around and around? why is it that carnies aren't all 500 lbs.? must be the meth. being the health nut that i am, (sarcasm completely implied), i found this list in newsweek and thought that i'd share. **note: zeppoles are not listed, making their deep fried doughy goodness and obviously healthy choice.

the 7 most unhealthy carnival foods.
7. cotton candy- one large cone of spun sugar is 200 calories. it's practically health food. so ditch those carrot sticks and grab yourself some candy fiberglass!

6. snow cones- the sugary syrup used is 100 calories an ounce. a 12 oz. snow cone will end up being 550 calories, depending on how syrup-heavy you take it. just remember fellas: blue tongues help you pick up chicks.

5. corn dogs- a.k.a the "nitratesicle" contains 375 calories and 21 grams of fat and 1170 mg of sodium. with all that salt, be sure to save your leftovers to de-ice your driveway. winter is just around the corner!

4. deep fried twinkie- one deep fried twinkie contains 420 calories and 32 grams of fat. that doesn't include any sugar or jelly topping. not bad when you think about it, considering a twinkie straight out of the pack has 419 calories and 31 grams of fat, and those are only half as delicious.

3. deep fried oreos- each cookie contains 157 calories and 10.1 grams of fat. really? seriously? honestly? do you care? me neither.

2. funnel cake- an 8.3 oz. cake contains 760 calories, 44 grams of fat, 80 grams of carbs and 20 mg. of cholesterol. that's no big deal, just make sure that next time you order a funnel cake, you tell the carny that you only want an 8.3 oz. funnel cake. i'm sure that they have a scale. and they can count to 8.3.

1. deep fried candy bars- everything from snickers, mars, milkyway and 3 musketeers is deep-fried and slapped on a stick. a king-size, deep-fried bar has over 700 calories and 44 grams of fat. but have you ever tried making one of those? it's a pain in the ass. so the calories of the "king size" are worth not having to clean up the disaster area in your kitchen. see folks? there's always a bright side.
[newsweek]

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Homegrown Tomato-ey Goodness...

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

it's an oddly perfect day today, considering the ever spastic weather bug says 40% chance of rain. in fact, the sun is shining, it's a perfect 69°, and there's a light breeze blowing through the house. as i was just sitting here, sifting through the endless emails and blog posts, i caught a whiff of tomato-ey goodness. is there anything better than the smell of homegrown tomatoes on the vine? a smell you'd rarely, if ever, smell when buying your 'maters in the grocery store. the 'mater plants outside the kitchen window are teeming with green tomatoes; i fear the day when they start turning red, because there will be a gazillion of them. they couldn't possibly turn red a few at a time, instead they'll shoot from 0-60 in 3.5 seconds, and i'll have to made 160 gallons of salsa.

anyway, the purpose of this post is to add #101 to my '100 little things.'

101- i love the smell of vine-ripened tomatoes.

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Happy 4th...

Friday, July 04, 2008

in a perfect world, the 4th of july should be spent bbq-ing and drinking beers with family & friends; with the added bonus of watching sh*t get blown up. hopefully you'll have the opportunity to do all of the above today, and i hope that you do it safely and happily. a toast... to independence!

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'Tis the Season to Wear 'dem Flip-Flops!

Monday, May 12, 2008

i haven't determined exactly when; whether it happened in my past life, or if it's going to happen in my next life, but i am determined to have a life where i am eternally a fifty-something year old, white haired, sun tanned, leather-skinned hippie living in a bungalow on the beach in the florida keys somewhere. still working at the 'local' bar, listening to jimmy buffett's greatest hits on a tinny-sounding boombox, bartending in shorts, a crazy shirt, and most importantly FLIP-FLOPS. i'll ride a bike to get groceries and have a cat named 'sven.' my dog 'fin,' who gets along great with sven, will wander the beach in search of snacks from tourists and bask in the sun for the remainder of his day. i'll smoke hand-rolled cigarettes and drink red stripes. i'll sleep in a hammock and my 'guest room' will be my old vw bus parked out back. maybe i'll even go back to my old nickname 'fish,' which wouldn't be so out-of-place in these surroundings. i'd be a hip daddio.

i can't tell you how happy it made me to type that out. i really have thought about that a lot and have always wondered why i knew so many of the details. i've stopped wondering. now i just pray that i haven't screwed up so horribly that my next life will follow my tale. the reason that i'm actually writing this, is because i found my summer 2008 flip-flops. the pair of flip-flops that i must have for the summer. for those who know me, i'd do well in ethiopia because of my ease of not wearing foot garments. i'd love to be barefoot all the time, but since that's not always an option flips are my standby. in the winter when flops just won't do, i wear crocs unless otherwise necessary. the really funny thing is i also LOVE shoes. i have way too many pairs. more pairs than most women that i know, i just don't like wearing them so much. and the other funny thing... I HATE FEET. there is no such thing as "cute," "pretty," or "nice" feet. ALL feet are disgusting. mariska hargitay, the most beautiful woman on the face of the earth, has ugly feet. i promise. take a look next time you're in the shower, they are disgusting. even mine.

but anyway... i found new flops on www.simpleshoes.com. a site for which i have purchased many a shoe from in the past. i believe i currently have 3 pairs in my collection. they are fantastic. and these eco-flops, like most simple brand shoes, also have other added benefits. they're made of recycled tires and sustainable and biodegradable parts. and this pair also supports www.stopglobalwarming.org. so the way i see it, i pay $65, i get a sweet pair of enviro-friendly flips and maybe, just maybe my proceeds will help that damn ozone layer. it's a win-win. i highly recommend 'em. check it.

CHECK OUT THE SIMPLE SHOE COMPANY HERE.

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The Proverbial Gutter...

Sunday, May 04, 2008

i haven't posted a photo in a while, but i came across this gem today. although it's a crude and ignorant photo, it is one of my favorites; with rex & dallon, the san diego troublemakers. notice my ever-present SuFi and my shirt that reads 'i french kissed kelly kapowski.' i snatched the quote from my sister, i think it's going to be my new personal credo.

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'Tis The Season...

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

this time of year makes me seriously consider changing the name of this site to www.isweatBEER.com, because as far as beer seasons go, summer absolutely takes the cake.

there is something about the fantastic brews of summer, that even now, while it's still 40 degrees out, that makes it feel like summer is here and in full effect. today i got my first dose of summer with a delicious case of saranac summer brews. i look forward to this day, regardless of the actual date, all year round. there is something about summer ale's, belgian white's and hefeweizen's that just scream "summer is here!"

i'm sure that much of it goes back to my days in atlantic city when the appearance of these brews, especially the belgian white's, meant that i'd be getting some serious beach time; most likely after getting a serious hangover from a long night at the wonder bar. but even now, some 3 hours away from the nearest fleck of sand, they scream to me the same.

or maybe it's the memories of drinking pete's wicked rally cap ale on the beach on cape cod, before an awesome dinner of clams on the half shell, oysters and shrimp cocktail; before settling on the cozy lawn of a friend's summer place in ipswich, drinking and smoking the night away next to a bonfire.

or maybe, just maybe, it goes back to a summerhouse on the jersey shore drinking sam adams summer ale with a slice of lemon on the deck, talking about life in general.

whatever it is, the beers of summer bring back many memories that i'll never be able to forget. one sip, the scent, the spoken name of the beers of summer will forever bring back cherished memories and i am indeed grateful.

cheers! (with my saranac summer ale in hand!)

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5000 HITS!!!

Monday, April 21, 2008

at some point, in the wee hours this morning the hit counter rolled to 5000! although isweatbutter.com got rolling in the end of january, the counter wasn't added until march 3. (which means the unofficial hit count is higher than 5000!) i've met a lot of great people thru here, and i truly appreciate all of you reading on a regular basis; and commenting and emailing me all the time. as long as you keep reading, i'll keep writing, and i'm looking forward to the blog across america tour this summer!!!

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