Soy Sauce Packets & Epiphanies: Michelle & Jim-Bob Have Big News! [DUGGAR ALERT]

OH, PLEASE! PLEASE! LET ME GUESS... SHE'S PREGGO?!? (AGAIN.) as if there could be any other news from these professional babymakers.

i've long wondered about the fascination behind television shows featuring huge-ass families. and uh oh, here comes another one - tonight, TLC debuted '17 kids and counting', a reality show about the duggars, the 19-member family from arkansas that i've often mocked. former high school sweethearts michelle and jim bob (yes, really) are — huge shocker here — super religious (a.k.a. they clearly don't use condoms) and believe "that every child is a gift to be cherished." they have ten boys and seven girls with number 18 on the way, so they obviously need some camera crews to come in and liven things up. michelle has been pregnant for nearly 12 years of her life. i'll excuse you ladies while you clench for a moment.

i'm guessing our nation's obsession with these multiple baby television shows has something to do with the "how the fuck do they do it — and why?" quotient. i mean, these people have got to be straight-up clinically insane, right? how do they pay for all of the fucking spit-up rags and dollies and bottles? how do the husband and wife not kill each other after bickering constantly? (lots of make-up sex, i'll assume?) why do they want so many kids - are they weird and religious or just super charitable and giving? (i know you are thinking it, but i'll say it because i agree, it's definitely the former,weird and religious.) and most importantly: how the hell did that woman pop so many out? (i'd have to guess that about 8 1/2 months in, she probably just restricts her diet to eating nothing but bush's baked beans. strictly beans. then, when her water breaks, all she has to do is fart, and voila! baby #19? of course, that's just my opinion.)

[via defamer]

more duggarlicious reading from ssp&e:

-they haven't listened to bob...
-never mind the tater tots...
-going for the trifecta...

the story behind ssp&e:

so i'm not sure if you're anything like me, but being the 'off the cuff cuisine' chef that i am, i try not to let anything go to waste. you know, when you bring home some bk or mickey d's, and after consuming your poor excuse for food, have ketchup packets or sauce shots left over that you throw in the door and forget about. same goes for chinese food, and you know they always give you enough sauce to put out a fire at the pentagon with your order. you throw them in your refrigerator door and forget about them. then one day you're trying to impress some last minute guests that have decided to stay at your place for dinner and all you have in your 'gourmet' kitchen are some ramen noodles, frozen veggies and some leftover grilled chicken from last weekend's cookout. the makings of a superb, on-the-fly stirfry. but wait, OH SHIT!, how are you going to make a sauce for your stirfry with no sauce? you look in the fridge and all you see is a bottle of ketchup, french's mustard (i use the term mustard loosely when describing french's), and a jar of pickle juice. oh no, what to do, what to do. then you bust open the butter holder, that invariably has never seen a stick of butter in it's life, and VOILA! soy sauce, duck sauce, hot mustard! packets, but instant chinkychow sauce nonetheless! each one of those packets, collected over time, came from a meal, inevitably eaten over conversation, an argument or during a lone lunch of self-reflection, came from a time and place in the past. as are our lessons learned. we learn through the years how to cope, how to inspire, how to teach, and how to live. we don't always remember those lessons, as we throw condiment packets in the fridge we throw life-lessons into the back of our heads, until one day we find ourself in a situation where it becomes relevant and we pull them from the back of our minds as to not waste the advice and lessons of the past. the moral of this story, and the linking of it to my blog- our life experiences are our 'soy sauce packets,' our hidden links to our experiences of our past...

e·piph·a·ny - noun - a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience. [www.dictionary.com]

the epiphanies that we experience in life, questions or situations that we find ourselves in, and don't know how to resolve, can most often be solved my raking our brains in search of a 'soy sauce packet.' an answer to a question. a solution to a problem. and so this, this blog, is simply an ever-expanding culmination of soy sauce packets in my butter box, and the epiphanies that have helped to make room for more butter in my fridge...

1 comments:

Crazy Momma, 10:27 AM: I am truly okay with the two I have at home still. Raising 4 is hard enough (and they were more like two separate families being so far apart in age).

I see how much my 8 year old struggles with lack of attention. Having a disabled child in the family means that he doesn't get what he needs/wants. I don't understand how a family of 18 can...

Do those kids even know their parents? Or do they know their older siblings who, no doubt, are responsible for them...

To each his own...I just don't get it.

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Michelle & Jim-Bob Have Big News! [DUGGAR ALERT]

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

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