Today in Bacon: [$0.02 Bacon]

How to Get Bacon for $0.02:

Apparently bacon by the pound is relatively cheap from the self-serve bar at Whole Foods.

1) go to whole foods before 9 am or so

2) enter the establishment

3) walk towards the serve yourself hot food bar

4) try not to get caught staring at the hot moms and fresh-faced co-ed cashiers

(step 4 is applicable only to men and lesbians.)

5) find the little cardboard boxes

6) find the bacon

7) put 7 or 8 strips of bacon in the box. this should be more than enough to satisfy even the most pork grease-addicted lardass

8) look for the most alluring cashier

9) have this cashier weigh the box and ring you up

10) pick your jaw up off the floor as your Grand Bacon Total is calculated at...less than 20 cents!

11) get in your car, take off your shoes, loosen your belt, turn up the radio, and munch that bacon as you drive to the unemployment office to apply for benefits

economical, atkins-friendly and tasty.

[simonmetz via baconbaconbacon]