Soy Sauce Packets & Epiphanies: Too Old To Tweet. [But Thank You Anyway]

Too Old To Tweet. [But Thank You Anyway]

Wednesday, July 07, 2010

i don't fit the mold.

i also don't wear a size small t-shirt.

and lord knows, i have no filter.

mtv just announced the final two tj candidates.

i had high hopes after seeing the profiles of the first 18 that they announced; i could out-tweet all of them with no thumbs & a blackberry, all while giving pre-surgery star jones a piggyback ride...

instead, they chose a lesbian that looks like justin bieber and a boricua that's addicted to the hills.

in any case, THANK YOU for all of your nominations via twitter and facebook.

and for constantly harassing the @mtvtj twitter account with every reason you could think of as to why they should pick me.

let's face it, mtv's just not ready for this jelly...

5 comments:

Anonymous, 3:21 PM: wait... I'm a boricua that's addicted to the hills. Did I win?!
The Male Lead, 4:08 PM: Hey, it's @lamottjackson here. You & @mitdasein are the only ones I had any concern about beating me for this contest. You guys rock big time. As for MTV not picking you for age (and I wouldn't doubt that's their reason), hell, I'm 38. I know they weren't ready for my mature & able to make proper fun of the MTV brats. Don't fret, they'll be a place for all the proper people who tweet intelligently. Just know tt damn sure ain't MTV.
sucktackular, 6:32 PM: it's not that you're too old. it's that MTV is too shitty. based upon their choices, can't you honestly agree?
Crystal from My Ramblings, 12:06 AM: You would have been awesome for the job... their loss! To MTV, I say "..." :)
tony a.k.a. isweatbutter, 12:16 AM: MTV may not be the right venue, but damn if that's not my dream job... That's all i'm sayin.

the story behind ssp&e:

so i'm not sure if you're anything like me, but being the 'off the cuff cuisine' chef that i am, i try not to let anything go to waste. you know, when you bring home some bk or mickey d's, and after consuming your poor excuse for food, have ketchup packets or sauce shots left over that you throw in the door and forget about. same goes for chinese food, and you know they always give you enough sauce to put out a fire at the pentagon with your order. you throw them in your refrigerator door and forget about them. then one day you're trying to impress some last minute guests that have decided to stay at your place for dinner and all you have in your 'gourmet' kitchen are some ramen noodles, frozen veggies and some leftover grilled chicken from last weekend's cookout. the makings of a superb, on-the-fly stirfry. but wait, OH SHIT!, how are you going to make a sauce for your stirfry with no sauce? you look in the fridge and all you see is a bottle of ketchup, french's mustard (i use the term mustard loosely when describing french's), and a jar of pickle juice. oh no, what to do, what to do. then you bust open the butter holder, that invariably has never seen a stick of butter in it's life, and VOILA! soy sauce, duck sauce, hot mustard! packets, but instant chinkychow sauce nonetheless! each one of those packets, collected over time, came from a meal, inevitably eaten over conversation, an argument or during a lone lunch of self-reflection, came from a time and place in the past. as are our lessons learned. we learn through the years how to cope, how to inspire, how to teach, and how to live. we don't always remember those lessons, as we throw condiment packets in the fridge we throw life-lessons into the back of our heads, until one day we find ourself in a situation where it becomes relevant and we pull them from the back of our minds as to not waste the advice and lessons of the past. the moral of this story, and the linking of it to my blog- our life experiences are our 'soy sauce packets,' our hidden links to our experiences of our past...

e·piph·a·ny - noun - a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience. [www.dictionary.com]

the epiphanies that we experience in life, questions or situations that we find ourselves in, and don't know how to resolve, can most often be solved my raking our brains in search of a 'soy sauce packet.' an answer to a question. a solution to a problem. and so this, this blog, is simply an ever-expanding culmination of soy sauce packets in my butter box, and the epiphanies that have helped to make room for more butter in my fridge...