100 Little Things...

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

i'm overjoyed
i'm over loved and feeling lucky
like a little boy who's just,
who's hiding under cover
and looking to discover
every way to play the part inside this darkened cave
the meaning of life well it starts at the nightlight
close your eyes and i hope you see mine
~1000 things~ ~jason mraz~

me not writing lately hasn't been so much that i haven't had much to say, but more about how i'm not sure how to say it; and sometimes the most persuasive things are silent. prior to my two earlier posts from last night, it has been a while. and until my friend spleeness shot me a message, i was having trouble getting my act together. so in an attempt to get the proverbial juices flowing again, i've gone ahead and made a list of 100 things about me. (an idea that i totally swiped from her.) some of these things you may know, some you may not. at the same time, some you may wish you didn't know, but i'm fine with that too. feel free to comment if you wish, it would be appreciated as always.

and now, without further adieu...

100 little things about me.

1. I clean my ears everyday. Not because they are dirty, but because it feels good. Eargasms are awesome.

2. For the most part, I don’t mind generic brand products. Some products, however, cannot be substituted; one of those happens to be q-tips. Another is Heinz ketchup. You can keep your “cotton swabs” and “catsup.”

3. I totally have a man crush on Justin Timberlake.

4. I don’t do mornings. And by ‘mornings’ I mean the first 3-4 hours after waking up from 3-4 hours of sleep. If I am awake at 7am, you better hope I’m still up from the night before or else watch the hell out.

5. I despise snakes. I think it’s because I don’t, regardless of who tries to explain it to me, understand how they move.

6. I also despise dolls with freckles. Not really sure of the reason, though I’m pretty sure Chucky & his bride have something to do with it.

7. I love coffee. The darker the better. My purpose in life is to find the perfect cup.

8. I always sleep with a comforter on. In the winter I keep the window open and in the summer I pump the AC, all so I can keep warm under the covers.

9. I can’t sleep with socks on.

10. The worst feeling in the world is walking around in socks and stepping in something wet. Wet socks=DISGUSTING.

11. I can hold full conversations with certain people speaking only in movie and Saturday Night Live quotes.

12. I overuse certain words and phrases. Examples would include “divine” and “I wouldn’t be more serious if I woke up with my head sewn to the carpet.”

13. I am probably the least jealous person alive.

14. I enjoy vacuuming because it fills me with a sense of accomplishment.

15. I can’t stand when people talk to me while I’m vacuuming, I must do it in complete silence. This is because you can hear noise coming from someone’s mouth if they talk to you, but you can’t actually hear what they are saying. That frustrates me, think about it. It’s annoying right?

16. I love going grocery shopping with a huge list and no money except the grocery money. I enjoy trying to get everything for a set amount of money. Typically, I end up with change.

17. I enjoy sand in my toes.

18. I love flip-flops.

19. I love shoes, but would rather be barefoot.

20. I bite my nails a lot. To the point that my fingertips hurt sometimes. That’s what you get for quitting smoking. (That and 20 extra pounds!)

21. I appreciate expensive shampoo. Redken is actually better and not because it costs more.

22. I collect books that I want to read, but I tend to reread the same ones over and over again.

23. I’ve read Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bourdain 14 times.

24. My office space is always cluttered. Cluttered and organized. I always know where everything is, even if it’s a post-it in the center of a pile of papers.

25. People who can’t spell annoy me.

26. People who use poor grammar annoy me too.

27. People who mix up words that sound the same make me want to shoot a staple into my cornea. i.e. two, too, to.

28. I sleep on my stomach. Even if I’m on the couch.

29. I only snore when I am sick.

30. My favorite time of year is from Halloween to New Years.

31. With the addition of the 4th of July, because 4th of July BBQs are fantastic!

32. I don’t celebrate my birthday.

33. I don’t like when random people say Happy Birthday to me. Like when you run into a friend in the mall within a day or two of your birthday, and they are shopping with a friend that they work with, that you have never met before- and they say “happy birthday” and then the random friend feels obligated and says “happy birthday.” Happy birthday from a random person? I’d rather drink motor oil.

34. I’m not a huge fan of milk. One thing you’ll NEVER hear come out of my mouth- “I could really go for an ice cold glass of milk.”

35. When I do consume milk, I am VERY conscious of the expiration date.

36. I have no food allergies and I appreciate that.

37. I love artificial cherry flavoring.

38. Therefore I enjoy anything that is artificially cherry flavored.

39. I wish all food was “gummi.” I love gummi anything, especially worms.

40. I listen to a wide array of music. Literally some of everything.

41. Classical music makes me angry.

42. I think all gold jewelry looks cheap.

43. I don’t like making plans. I prefer to go with the flow.

44. I wander when I brush my teeth. I almost NEVER stand in front of the sink when I do it.

45. I’ve cracked my head open three times.

46. I hate when people try and beat around the bush. Just spit it out.

47. And be honest. I’m a big boy, I can handle it.

48. Don’t expect me to censor my opinion. That’ll never happen.

49. I’ve never been arrested. Officially at least.

50. I hate car payments.

51. I’ll cook you a delicious 8 course meal and I’ll enjoy every minute of it, but I won’t wash a single dish.

52. I can sleep through anything, but I can’t fall asleep if it’s not silent.

53. I’ve been homeless and have lived in my car.

54. I hate making multiple trips with groceries; I’d rather injure myself carrying everything at once.

55. My favorite bottled beverages: b-Relaxed VitaminWater, Wild Cherry Pepsi and Snapple Lemon Tea.

56. My favorite bottled water: Panna. But it has to be in a glass bottle.

57. I’m addicted to the entire Law & Order franchise. It doesn’t matter how many times I have seen an episode, I’ll still watch it again.

58. When it comes to competition shows on TV, like Dancing with the Stars or Next Food Network Star, I have anxiety if I miss an episode and didn’t get to see who got the boot. I feel like when I watch shows like that for so many weeks, that I invested so much time in them that would all go to waste if I missed an episode. I know, its neurotic, but it’s me.

59. I love Volkswagens.

60. I love driving with the windows down when it’s freezing cold and blasting the heat on super-hot-as-balls.

61. I’m totally whipped on NBC news. I cannot watch any other news channel because the newscasters are typically asshats. And by NBC, I mean NBC New York. When I lived in South Jersey and North Carolina, and now Pennsylvania, I’ve never cared about the “local” news, New York news is always my “local” news no matter where I am.

62. When it comes to eating strange food, I’ll try anything a dozen times before I decide whether I actually like it or not.

63. I love wine, especially red.

64. I especially love the warm & toasty feeling that you get after consuming copious amounts of wine.

65. Beer is delicious and I truly appreciate the difference in different styles of beers.

66. My least favorite “Beer Season” is the fall.

67. I’ve never owned a car without a sunroof.

68. I used to have a really important job. Everyone knew who I was. But I was never truly happy.

69. Some people think that I am gay because I have a good sense of style when it comes to interior design. They’re all haters.

70. I love photography, especially if it’s black and white.

71. I want to learn how to play acoustic guitar.

72. Or the piano.

73. I despise talking on the phone, because I have no attention span.

74. If I were a betting man, I’d be willing to bet you $500,000.00 that you don’t know another person who has worse credit than I. If I were a betting man, which I’m not.

75. I’m an ordained interfaith minister, like Joey from friends.

76. I’ve had names picked for my unborn children for about 10 years.

77. I thoroughly enjoy spontaneity.

78. I love music for the way it makes me feel. Whether it’s the way the lyrics make me feel, or the music itself. I’ve been known to like songs about “killin’ bitches and hoes,” just because the song had a good beat or a sweet hook.

79. I would love to have a job that required me to carry a gun.

80. Some people think I’m emo because I love Panic @ the Disco and I’m not afraid to admit it.

81. I enjoy cooking for people in my house or at theirs, but I typically don’t eat when I cook.

82. I prefer food that’s cold.

83. If I was on Death Row and was asked about what I wanted for my last meal, I would want my mom’s meatloaf, cold, on Wonder Bread with a whole lot of Heinz Ketchup. And sweet potato fries with honey.

84. It annoys me when people whistle to try and get someone’s attention. Whistle at me and I’ll rip your lips off, I’m not a damn dog.

85. It also annoys me when people refer to items by their brand names regardless of the actual brand of the product. Like people that call paper towels- “Scott Towels,” tissues- “Kleenex” and bleach- “Clorox.”

86. I like walking in the rain.

87. And sleeping through thunderstorms with the windows open.

88. My favorite sushi- spicy tuna handroll.

89. My favorite bagel- everything, not toasted with scallion cream cheese.

90. I love vodka. On ice. It’s delicious.

91. I rarely get hangovers, but when I do, watch out.

92. I used to be able to drink a 30 pack of beer and still be able to function. I say “used to” because it’s been a while.

93. I’d love to live in a shanty on the beach in Key West and have a job that required me to wear flip-flops.

94. Some people have the ability to make me so angry that it gives me a headache. Luckily, Elisabeth Hasselbeck doesn’t come around my house much or she’d be in trouble. Tom Cruise either.

95. I enjoy blogging, but the last dozen things I’ve written, I’ve kept private. Mostly because I don’t care what my sisters have to say about any of it.

96. I love the feeling of contentment after eating the perfect meal.

97. And also the feeling of contentment after sneezing or laughing so hard that your eyes water.

98. I too, have never been good at video games because I lack hand/eye coordination.

99. I appreciate alone time, but rarely have any.

100. I’ve sent six “secrets” to Post-Secret and all of them have been posted on the website. No one will ever know that I wrote them, but I have to say that it’s been nice to be able to get them off of my chest.

4 comments:

Soon to be MRS. Sausage Queen..lol.,  3:23 PM  

Will you marry me?

christi 5:09 PM  

this is hysterical! and i'm totally stealing your idea one of these days...thanks for the laugh

spleeness 1:14 AM  

YES! I'm with you on cheap "catsup" and "cotton swabs"

Love the idea of a man crush, only the truly masculine could say that.

Mornings suck. I'm a vampire too.

When *is* this birthday that you don't celebrate? (month or astrology sign at least?)

Cherry flavoring! Send me your address (comment and I won't make it public) and I will ship you a bag of the best cherry gummi candy I've ever had in my life, from the Cherry Republic, sour cherry patches. My treat.

Cracked your head open??? omg! what happened?

Where did you live in South Jersey? I was there too for a while.

What did you do when you had your "important" job (but were unhappy)?

lmao at "Whistle at me and I’ll rip your lips off" !!

dude! I have the same Key West fantasy. Are you my blogging twin?

TONY a.k.a. i sWEAT bUTTER 1:58 AM  

seriously, "catsup," what a stupid name.

3 things only "real men" can do:
1-admit they have a man crush.
2-wear pink or lavender.
3-drive a station wagon.

november 8. scorpio.

the head cracking? once i was riding the family dog around the house, fell off and slid across the hardwood floor and smashed into the corner of the wall. another time i was running in the library and tripped and smacked my head on the corner of some piece of ultra-hip and boxy 80's office chair. you know the kind, right? and the third time, i fell down some concrete stairs, but no worries, my head broke the fall.

brigantine, just north of a.c. it was nice, but waaay too close to work. which leads me to your next query, i like that word, "query:" i was the bar operations manager at harrah's casino. 24-7, 7 days a week, sometimes wouldn't leave for a good 24 hours. but i also never paid for drinks when i did have time off. no waiting in line at clubs either. that was the nice part.

blog twins we may be, because i felt the same about some of your answers, and i'm sure you noticed a couple that i didn't even bother rephrasing. :)

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