Soy Sauce Packets & Epiphanies: More from Me & Margz:

MARGZ: Do you mix tartar sauce and ketchup together to dip your french fries in?

ME: no, that's gross. people in these parts mix mayo and ketchup for fries, but i don't do that either. i like my heinz straight-up.

MARGZ: It's delicious, you are missing out. You just don't even know.

ME: after i sent that last comment, i started singing paula abdul at the top of my lungs!!! "straight up now tell me do you really wanna love me forever whoa whoa whoa..."

MARGZ: Did you wake anyone up, or did they not find that sort of behavior unusual?

ME: i'm here by myself. but i am prone to random lyrical outbursts, so if someone was here, they wouldn't think anything of it.

MARGZ: Where is everyone? No one is here either. My hot lover went to the bar with his man-friend.

ME: i don't know. everyone that i know is out throwing eggs at all the toolboxes that are waiting in line in the freezing cold to go watch that stupid peta-friendly vampire movie.

MARGZ: Why are they waiting in line? This is 2008, buy your tickets online, duh. It really is a good film. I want everyone to see it so I can talk about it. Right now I just have to hold it all in. So how are your late 20's treating you anyways? You are almost over the hill.

ME: they're about as exciting as a hycolonic in tijuana.

MARGZ: Well, Tijuana is fun at least!!

ME: i've come to a realization that the last five years of my life have been kind of boring. i've decided that by the time i turn 30, i want to be cool again.

MARGZ: I think when you turn 30, you should become cool again as well. (My cats are about to kill each other, I just heard one of them screaming somewhere far away in my mansion.)

ME: i still have cool in me, i just temporarily misplaced it. and i need to find it before i end up as a roadie for the backstreet boys or something.

MARGZ: You will be cool again. And actually, I believe these days it's the Jonas Brothers you will be a roadie for.

ME: i would rather scrape gum off an old lady's dentures than have anything to do with the jonas brothers. for the record.

the story behind ssp&e:

so i'm not sure if you're anything like me, but being the 'off the cuff cuisine' chef that i am, i try not to let anything go to waste. you know, when you bring home some bk or mickey d's, and after consuming your poor excuse for food, have ketchup packets or sauce shots left over that you throw in the door and forget about. same goes for chinese food, and you know they always give you enough sauce to put out a fire at the pentagon with your order. you throw them in your refrigerator door and forget about them. then one day you're trying to impress some last minute guests that have decided to stay at your place for dinner and all you have in your 'gourmet' kitchen are some ramen noodles, frozen veggies and some leftover grilled chicken from last weekend's cookout. the makings of a superb, on-the-fly stirfry. but wait, OH SHIT!, how are you going to make a sauce for your stirfry with no sauce? you look in the fridge and all you see is a bottle of ketchup, french's mustard (i use the term mustard loosely when describing french's), and a jar of pickle juice. oh no, what to do, what to do. then you bust open the butter holder, that invariably has never seen a stick of butter in it's life, and VOILA! soy sauce, duck sauce, hot mustard! packets, but instant chinkychow sauce nonetheless! each one of those packets, collected over time, came from a meal, inevitably eaten over conversation, an argument or during a lone lunch of self-reflection, came from a time and place in the past. as are our lessons learned. we learn through the years how to cope, how to inspire, how to teach, and how to live. we don't always remember those lessons, as we throw condiment packets in the fridge we throw life-lessons into the back of our heads, until one day we find ourself in a situation where it becomes relevant and we pull them from the back of our minds as to not waste the advice and lessons of the past. the moral of this story, and the linking of it to my blog- our life experiences are our 'soy sauce packets,' our hidden links to our experiences of our past...

e·piph·a·ny - noun - a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience. [www.dictionary.com]

the epiphanies that we experience in life, questions or situations that we find ourselves in, and don't know how to resolve, can most often be solved my raking our brains in search of a 'soy sauce packet.' an answer to a question. a solution to a problem. and so this, this blog, is simply an ever-expanding culmination of soy sauce packets in my butter box, and the epiphanies that have helped to make room for more butter in my fridge...

Soy Sauce Packets & Epiphanies

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Saturday, November 22, 2008

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About butter:

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