If This Is Wrong, I Don't Wanna Be Right.

i've said it before:

more than any other thing in this world, (with the possible exceptions of snakes, clowns, dolls with freckles, elisabeth hasselbeck and tom cruise) i HATE, HATE, HATE alarm clocks. they serve no joyous purpose in anyone's life. some of you may consider them a necessary evil, i think that they should be banned from the surface of the earth and sent in a rocket on the next mission to mars. the best way for me to ensure myself that i'll have a bad day, is to set my alarm clock before bed. it NEVER fails.

this thing, however, may just be the thing to turn that phobia around for me. ladies and gentlemen, the wake n' bacon.

it's nothing more than an alarm clock that wakes you up with the smell and sizzle of cooking bacon. (fucking yum!) it's mostly necessary because no one likes to wake up, especially by an alarm. this gentle beast of an alarm clock gently wakes you up with the mouthwatering aroma of bacon, just like waking up on a sunday morning to the smell of mom cooking breakfast. (unless you're jewish.)(or canadian, because lets face it, that 'canadian bacon' is crap.)

it's so easy to use, even trig palin can use it! all you have to do is put a frozen strip of bacon in the wake n' bacon before bed. because there is a 10 minute cooking time, the clock is set to go off 10 minutes before the desired waking time. once the alarm goes off, the clock sends a signal to a small speaker to generate the alarm sound. some geek made it so that the alarm sound gets re-routed by a microchip that responds by sending a signal to a relay that throws the switch to power two halogen lamps that slow-cook the bacon in about 10 minutes.

could life possibly get any better? i think not. (christmas, hanukkah & kwanzaa are swiftly approaching. since i celebrate all three, you can purchase one of these for me for any of the above celebrations.)


[mathlete via baconismyenemy]