This Is What I'm About To Be A Part Of:

[via urbandictionary]i'll have pictures and stories to post on sunday... or you can follow my weekend shitshow tweets...

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Call Mr. Webster, It's Time To Make A Donation To His Dictionary...

Fuckeduplets.
noun, plural: multiple babies born to a single, unemployed looney tune of a mother.


[via slog]

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My Contribution To The Internets:

it may have taken 5 months to be published, but my further contribution to the internets has finally come to fruition...[via urbandictionary]

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BREAKING NEWS: Fire Breaks Out At Bacon Factory

"Firemen on the scene reported the blaze to be intense and delicious.”
**side note: when i googled the term 'flaming bacon' to try and find a picture to go along with this post, i found out that 'flaming bacon' is a term listed in the urban dictionary. it's meaning? "The act of being hammered drunk, wrapping your cock with 4 condoms, then pouring the alcohol you used on your 'Bacon' lighting it on fire then proceed to have." wow. just, wow.

[via bbc, urbandictionary]

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I Suffer From Kitchenheimer's Syndrome.

Kitchenheimer's Syndrome - noun - When you're in the kitchen going around in circles because you can't remember what you were doing there.

I was in the kitchen this morning walking around in circles wondering what the hell I was looking for when the microwave beeped reminding me I was heating up my cup of coffee. My Kitchenheimer's is getting worse.

[via urbandictionary]

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"Holiday Beard." This Shall Be My Official Excuse For The Orangutan Armpit Hair Growing On My Face...

Holiday Beard:

noun - when a male decides not to shave for the period of his holiday, returning with a rather terrible looking collection of facial hair.
"it's too cold to shave here, i'll just grow a holiday beard."

[via urbandictionary]

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Nom Nom Nom

because i know what it denotes, but i was unsure of its actual meaning...

nom nom nom:

represents the sound made when someone is eating or chewing something and really enjoying it.
"hey, are you eating my brownies?"
"nom nom nom."

[via urbandictionary]

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Nothing New, But Still a Laugh [Urban Dictionary]

thanksgiving's word of the day:

vegetarian (noun) - a bad hunter. someone who survives by consuming not food, but the stuff that food eats.

the vegetarian was forced to subsist on slower prey, such as the broccoli and carrot.

[via urbandictionary]

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PEWS

Post-Election-Withdrawl-Syndrome: (i have this.)

The feeling of general depletion and emptiness in the few days after a presidential election. Caused by the sudden withdrawal of any campaign coverage, sound bites, or pictures of babies being kissed. May be accompanied by aimless clicking on news websites looking for something to read.

*NOTE: This condition has been observed in people whether their chosen candidate won or not.

Wife, to her Doctor: "I'm worried about my husband. Ever since the 4th, he's just been sitting at home wandering the New York Times and CNN for hours on end."

Doctor: "I wouldn't worry about it. He probably just has an acute case of PEWS. He should be back on his feet by the end of the week."

[via urbandictionary]

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