The Economy.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
We apologize for the inconvenience.
Showing posts with label great depression II. Show all posts
Showing posts with label great depression II. Show all posts
We apologize for the inconvenience.
The World Is Going To Shit.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
smithfield, the world's biggest pork processor, will close 6 plants and lay off 1,800. i know saying that every little thing is a sign of the apocalypse is a horrible cliche, but i know something about the topic, and when you can't make money selling bacon we're all in trouble. [bloomberg]
College Education & Relevant Work Experience Aside, At Least I've Got This Going For Me:
Monday, February 02, 2009
Starbucks Eliminates Coffee, Cups, Stir-thingies...
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Latest Cost-Cutting Measures.
In its latest cost-cutting moves designed to improve its bottom line, Starbucks announced today that it would no longer offer coffee, cups, or stir-thingies beginning February 1.
In an official statement, company spokesman Carol Foyler said that Starbucks "wrestled long and hard" with the decision to eliminate the three items, "especially coffee."
"We are aware that many of our customers have come to Starbucks in the past looking for a cup of coffee," Ms. Foyler said. "We hope, however, that they will continue to come even though we no longer offer coffee or cups, for that matter."
She said that she did not think that Starbucks customers would be disappointed by the absence of stir-thingies, adding, "Since we're also eliminating sugar, Equal, and half-and-half, there's really nothing to stir."
When asked what Starbucks hoped would attract customers to their stores in the future, Ms. Foyler said, "We hope customers will see our stores as a place for the unemployed and/or homeless to come out of the cold and warm themselves over a scalding hot cup of water, as long as they bring the cup."
Elsewhere, House Minority Leader John Boehner explained House Republicans' opposition to President Obama's economic stimulus package: "We're ginormous assholes."
[via borowitzreport]
What Is A "Mommy Blogger" To Do When The Economy Sucks And Hits To Her Website Start To Dwindle?
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
get knocked up. again. so you have something new to write about.
at least that seems like the new trend.
Are you one of those people who eats squirrel not because of poverty or comical sitcom hillbillyism, but for the delicious taste?
Friday, January 09, 2009
...then england has the product for you!
as we all know, the english have been eating a lot of squirrel lately, because they're in the "mass lead poisoning" portion of the decline of an empire. but sometimes, you want that delicious squirrel flavor at home, but you don't feel like going out and killing a fresh rodent...
that's why walker's crisps ("crisps" is british for "potato chips") has introduced a hot new flavor: "cajun squirrel"!
a panel of judges—including a "celebrity chef"!!—chose the new squirrel flavor based on submissions from thousands of chip-eaters across that blighted island. british people presumably have no idea what "cajun" implies so these probably taste like salt and whatever squirrel tastes like, in flavor power form.
some hoity-toity toffs at the guardian are upset about this.
[theguardian via gawker]
...Unless They Eat A Dickload of Ramen Noodles...
Saturday, December 20, 2008
what a fcuking cute coincidence that these cheapo's last name is 'economides.' WORLD, meet steve and annette economides. they are raising a family of 7 in arizona on an annual income of about $44,000.
the today show, which featured the economides family in a segment, seemed astounded that a family could get by wearing nice clothes and living in a large home — without buying on credit.
breaking down their budget into 19 categories, they paid off their first house in nine years on an average income of $33,000 a year. their second home, which they estimate to be worth more than $700,000, was purchased for more than $200,000 and is almost paid off.
they plan every meal before going to the grocery store, building their menu around specials and coupons. the monthly bill to feed a family of seven is $350. (for seven people? i call bullshit. unless they eat a dickload of ramen noodles.)
they don’t buy on credit. they buy late-model used cars with cash. they also budget cash reserves for auto and home repairs so they never have to dip into reserves.
now the economides are turning their frugal habits into another source of income. they have a new york times bestselling book called "america's cheapest family," and a website. it's easier than you think!
[todayshow via consumerist]
If there is anything "good" about living paycheck to paycheck in this economy...
Thursday, December 18, 2008
It’s learning what’s bullshit and what’s not.
There really is an art to coupon-clipping, bargain-buying, learning to make-do, realizing you don’t have to throw out your clothes for next year’s model. It’s not “fun”, and this is probably privilege talking when so many people have it so much worse. Yet this year? Kinda feels like an Allegory of the Cave for the consumer bullshit that keeps our culture together. Emperor of the Shopping Mall: clothes, you no has.[verucasassault via itsbedtime] Read more...
I used to mock my Depression-era Southern granny for growing her own vegetables, making everything from scratch and teaching me to sew from Wal-Mart Simplicity! patterns. Not anymore, nana, not anymore.
I Was Just Thinking...
...i bet robin leach doesn't have shit to talk about these days. unless he's spending a whole lot of time in the united arab emirates.
Bad News From My Last "Real" Job:
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
i love the recession because things that suck are dying; everything that is most bloated and cheesy and garish is imploding. witness:
harrah's, the mcdonald's of casino chains, is in big trouble. so is claire's. they're owned by the same private equity firm."[via consumerist] Read more...
Times Are Tough...
Thursday, December 04, 2008
...i get that. but unless you have ever worked in an industry that pays you crap because you work for tips, you won't really understand this: in tough times, if you can't afford to tip, don't go out. don't go out to eat. don't get your haircut. don't get wasted at a bar. don't take a cab. nothing. if you know that dinner at shannanagin's costs about twenty-five bucks, not including tip, and all you got is a twenty-spot and a couple of singles, do us all a favor and hit-up the drive thru at mcfatty's. trust me when i tell you that betty-the-beautician is just as hard up for cash as you. keeping busy on your mop won't take her mind off of how she knows you're going to stiff her like last time. screw ben bernanke and his "economic stimulating." if you can't afford to tip - especially now that the holidays are here - forget the economy. stay home, rent some porn, and "stimulate" yourself.
Yahoo Hotjobs offers the following tip suggestions:
* Bartender: 10-15% of the bar bill.In addition, if you regularly use any of these, or other service workers, you'll likely want to give them an extra holiday tip this season. For guidance on what amounts are appropriate, Consumer Reports offers a nice chart on what others are tipping this season.
* Waiter/Waitress: 15-20% of the bill, at least 20% for fine dining or large groups.
* Massage Therapist: 10-20% of the total, 20% if it's orgasmic.
* Hairstylist: 15% of the total.
* Concierge: $5-10 is average, more for special services or favors.
* Doorman: $1 dollar or more for help with luggage or finding a taxi on the street.
* Parking Attendant: $1-2, depending on how far they travel to get your car.
* Van Driver: $1 or more per bag, especially if they help you with your luggage.
* Taxi Driver: 15% of fare, $1/bag up to 5 bags, $2/bag for 5 or more bags.
...and if you need more tips on how to be a serious cheapass, buy THIS book.
[via consumerreports, hotjobs, shezoom, consumerist] Read more...
Did I Mention That Assholes Shop At Walmart?
Friday, November 28, 2008
A Wal-Mart employee was trampled to death early this morning during a Black Friday shopping stampede on Long Island. The man was a 34-year-old stockroom employee of the super store, who was trying to keep a bargain-crazed horde at bay. In the end they proved too strong for him.
"He was bum-rushed by 200 people," said Jimmy Overby, 43, a co-worker. "They took the doors off the hinges. He was trampled and killed in front of me. They took me down too...I literally had to fight people off my back."
A 28-year-old pregnant lady was also knocked down in the frenzy. The good news is that most people got that cheap XBox that Ricky wanted, and the "My First Sex Scandal" karaoke microphone/dildo that Amber was desperate for. So the young man didn't die in vain.
Before police shut down the store, eager shoppers streamed past emergency crews as they worked furiously to save the store clerk's life.
[via gawker]
Buy Nothing Day [Increasingly Popular]
"are you ready to sit at home eating leftovers and watching reruns? or catching up on blogs? then celebrate buy nothing day today! it's the day when lefties around the world celebrate being broke by abstaining from capitalism for a day and feeling superior, while the rich run wild on pre-christmas sales. it's a nice thought and many of you would probably theoretically support it, but, you know... sales. this year, however, the anarchist types have an extra incentive: nobody has any money to spend anyhow!"[adbusters via gawker] Read more...
For Sale: 200,000-Square-Foot Box
Thursday, November 20, 2008
this year, we’ve learned that nothing is too big to fail. yes, in dire economic times—and in certain circumstances—even america's favorite sweatshop shitshow, walmart, can go under. but what happens to the giant, empty buildings that the company leaves behind?
word on the street is that they become churches. or spam museums. or go-cart racetracks. who knew?
"Big-box buildings are the large, free-standing, warehouselike structures that have become dominant in the American landscape, constructed by one-stop-shopping retailers, grocers, and category-killers. Hundreds of new big-box buildings are built each year—and hundreds are vacated. Resourceful communities are finding ways to reuse these buildings, turning them into flea markets, museums, schools, even churches." [Read More][slate via good] Read more...
"It's like Meat with a Pause Button." [That's F*cking Gross]
Saturday, November 15, 2008
the worse things get in america, the lower the quality of the meat we're willing to consume. hormel's favorite "pasteurized, processed, meat-style product," spam is preparing to survive the recession quite well, says the new york times. yet as real spam flies off the shelves, profits from virtual spam are on the decline. tasty (that's debatable), salty, injected-with-something spam is slighter better than having to delete an unwanted e-mail from your inbox, you have to admit.
the minnesota factory is working seven days a week to churn out the product that even someone unemployed can afford and enjoy:
"people are realizing it’s not that bad a product," said dan johnson, 55, who operates a 70-foot-high spam oven. ...because it is vacuum-sealed in a can and does not require refrigeration, spam can last for years. hormel says "it’s like meat with a pause button."the benefits aren't limited to hormel employees — the times is more than willing to patronize the people who buy it. we'll guess that the fact-checker didn't exactly call a wal-mart in cleveland to check this detail:
a rising segment of the public, it seems, does have a taste for spam, which is available in several varieties, including spam low sodium, spam with cheese and spam hot & spicy. james bate, a 48-year-old sausage maker, was buying it at wal-mart in cleveland recently. not only was it cheap, but he said it brought back fond memories of his grandfather’s making him spam sandwiches. "you can mix it with tomatoes and onions and make a good meal out of it,” he said. "a little bit of this stuff goes a long way."although at $3.20 a pound, spam isn't that cheap, but it lasts forever and requires substantially less preparation than anything short of popcorn. and since there's no waste, you can save the money to buy that $65 spam costume you've always wanted...
[via gawker] Read more...
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