Soy Sauce Packets & Epiphanies: Mom's Say the Darndest Things [Rated 'R' for Language]

Mom's Say the Darndest Things [Rated 'R' for Language]

Saturday, October 25, 2008

i found the last warm & fuzzy photo of the day in a slideshow on huffington post about post-debate pda. a slideshow of presidential candidates and their spouses "celebrating" at the conclusion of each debate. i noted how cold and unfuzzy(?) the mccain's seemed compared to the obama's. my mom asked me to show her a picture of the mccain's, after which she responded:

"ew, he don't eat no pussy and she don't suck his cock."

i couldn't make that kind of shit up if i tried.

2 comments:

Anonymous, 3:03 PM: Oh no she di'int! She's hilarious! Dood, I wouldn't be surprised if this post/that quote ends up in Wired or something. Too much.
Anonymous, 6:52 PM: um miss spleen...oh yeah...I said it! gross thought huh? that I said it or the action between the two old toddlers in depends?

the story behind ssp&e:

so i'm not sure if you're anything like me, but being the 'off the cuff cuisine' chef that i am, i try not to let anything go to waste. you know, when you bring home some bk or mickey d's, and after consuming your poor excuse for food, have ketchup packets or sauce shots left over that you throw in the door and forget about. same goes for chinese food, and you know they always give you enough sauce to put out a fire at the pentagon with your order. you throw them in your refrigerator door and forget about them. then one day you're trying to impress some last minute guests that have decided to stay at your place for dinner and all you have in your 'gourmet' kitchen are some ramen noodles, frozen veggies and some leftover grilled chicken from last weekend's cookout. the makings of a superb, on-the-fly stirfry. but wait, OH SHIT!, how are you going to make a sauce for your stirfry with no sauce? you look in the fridge and all you see is a bottle of ketchup, french's mustard (i use the term mustard loosely when describing french's), and a jar of pickle juice. oh no, what to do, what to do. then you bust open the butter holder, that invariably has never seen a stick of butter in it's life, and VOILA! soy sauce, duck sauce, hot mustard! packets, but instant chinkychow sauce nonetheless! each one of those packets, collected over time, came from a meal, inevitably eaten over conversation, an argument or during a lone lunch of self-reflection, came from a time and place in the past. as are our lessons learned. we learn through the years how to cope, how to inspire, how to teach, and how to live. we don't always remember those lessons, as we throw condiment packets in the fridge we throw life-lessons into the back of our heads, until one day we find ourself in a situation where it becomes relevant and we pull them from the back of our minds as to not waste the advice and lessons of the past. the moral of this story, and the linking of it to my blog- our life experiences are our 'soy sauce packets,' our hidden links to our experiences of our past...

e·piph·a·ny - noun - a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience. [www.dictionary.com]

the epiphanies that we experience in life, questions or situations that we find ourselves in, and don't know how to resolve, can most often be solved my raking our brains in search of a 'soy sauce packet.' an answer to a question. a solution to a problem. and so this, this blog, is simply an ever-expanding culmination of soy sauce packets in my butter box, and the epiphanies that have helped to make room for more butter in my fridge...

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Mom's Say the Darndest Things [Rated 'R' for Language]

Saturday, October 25, 2008

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