Showing posts with label read. Show all posts
Showing posts with label read. Show all posts

As I Cower With My Tail Between My Legs...

Friday, February 27, 2009

last august i wrote THIS post about new books that you shouldn't bother reading. included on that list was 'i hope they serve beer in hell' by tucker max.* a week later, someone sent me a copy with a post-it note on the the cover that said nothing more than, "you're going to love this!" it's been in the back of my car ever since.

two weeks ago i was in barnes & noble looking for a new book to read and asked the cute bookrista if she had any recommendations. after explaining that i enjoyed the sarcastic wit of david sedaris and augusten burroughs, but had already read all of their books, she recommended that i read tucker max. she continued, "he's like david sedaris before he quit smoking, meets an immature augusten burroughs." that, my friends, sounded good to me. so i left. and when i got home i dug the paperback out of the back of my car and started reading.

four chapters in, i realized that it had been a really long time since i had laughed that hard while reading a book. i'm still not finished with it, and it's getting even better page by page.

*[don't bother squinting to read this, it's not that important.] ok, so i was wrong. it's a good book. fuck it, it's a great book. hell, i may even go see the movie. the blow from admitting that i was wrong seems less severe if i write it in smaller font and hide it in the footnote. so that's what i'm doing.

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How Do We Feel About The Term 'Twat Waffle'? [Syn: Douchenozzle]



i think i like it.

[nymag]

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Feed The B*tch... [Drafts of '08]

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

i honestly can't tell you what this post was supposed to be about when i added the title and the photo back on april 2. i know that "feed the bitch" is the term for feeding moldy fruit to the sourdough starter by adam reallastnameunknown in the book pictured, kitchen confidential. but what exactly i was planning on ranting about... the world may never know.

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The End of 2008 Means That You Can Expect One Thing: A Boatload of Lists

Saturday, December 27, 2008

gawker, defamer, perezhilton, you name the blog and they've got lists to celebrate the end of the year. celebrity fights, best songs, best reality tv moments, the list goes on. i haven't bothered posting any of the 30 or so that i've seen so far, but this one, from this recording, is worth it. mostly because if i were to make a list of the most facsinating people of 2008, i'd probably have come up with an identical list. (with the exception of david foster wallace, because i just don't get the big deal about him.)

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StuffWhitePeopleLike + FatAmericanTV = Kiva [PSA]

stuff white people like has been on my google reader since the day i started reading blogs. it started like most successful blogs- as a human with a passion, a sense of humor, and a computer. its authors, christian lander & myles valentin, have seen their success grow to new heights in recent months with the publication of stuff white people like: the book, available HERE on amazon.

their continued success has lead them to design a t-shirt based on entries from their blog. they've teamed up with fat american to offer the sale of the new shirt, and a few weeks ago, christian asked for his readers to recommend a non-profit organization to receive the profits from the sale of the shirt. i, as well as several others i'm sure, recommended kiva microfunds to be the recipient of the profits from the stuff white people like t-shirt. of the over 500 non-profits that were sent in, christian & myles have chosen 11 to be voted on by the readers of their blog, and kiva.org has made the list!

kiva is an organization that allows people to lend money via the internet to micro-finance institutions in developing countries which in turn lend the money to small businesses. it is a non-profit organization based in san francisco that is supported by donations from its users and through partnerships with businesses and other institutions. kiva captures the entrepreneurial spirit of muhammad yunus, the bangladeshi banker and economist that singlehandedly introduced the idea of micro-loans to the modern world.

NOW, I'M ASKING FOR YOUR HELP TO HELP KIVA. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IT GO HERE AND VOTE FOR 'KIVA.org.'





read more about kiva microfunds HERE, at www.kiva.org

buy a shirt HERE, from www.fatamerican.tv

add stuff white people like to your your blog reader HERE

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Today in Bacon: [Choco-Bacon Bombs]

Friday, December 26, 2008

Bacon Bombs - Bacon dipped in a milk chocolate, sweet ancho chili and cayenne pepper, and chopped pecans. CLICK HERE for the recipe from the milwaukee cupcake queen.

[via itsallaboutthebacon]

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Today in Bacon: [Potato Pancakes with Cheese & Bacon]

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Potato Pancakes with Cheese and Bacon - great use for those leftover mashed potatoes on friday morning!

Ingredients:
8 oz freshly cooked, mashed potatoes
2 tbsp milk
2 eggs
2 tbsp self-rising flour
Salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste
4 slices Irish Cheddar cheese
8 slices streaky bacon
Place the mashed potatoes into a bowl and add the milk, eggs and flour. Season with salt and pepper. Beat until you have a thick but pourable batter, adding more milk if needed. Heat the oil in a heavy bottomed pan. Pour in a ladleful of the batter mix and cook until browned underneath. Flip over and cook on the other side. Transfer to a warmed platter and reserve, keeping the pancakes warm.
At the same time cook the bacon in a non-stick pan until crispy. Drain on paper towel.

Top the potato pancakes with slices of cheese and place under hot broiler to melt. Serve with crisp bacon on top. Serves 4.

[royalbaconsociety via itsallaboutthebacon]

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Today in Bacon: [Not Actually Bacon]

Monday, December 22, 2008

Prosciutto-Wrapped Roasted Garlic Potato Medallions - Technically, this is cheating, since it doesn’t actually contain bacon. But Prosciutto is a close, tasty relative of bacon, and could easily be swapped out for bacon in the recipe. And it looks so delicious, how could you resist? recipe is HERE via mens journal.

[via baconbaconbacon]

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Food Fight: Butter vs. Margarine

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Today's New York Times takes on the Nectar of the Gods, aka Butter, and its evil nemesis, Margarine.

Remember those old ads where a woman tastes a cookie and then says, "Were these made with real butter?" And, when the baker shame-facedly hangs her head, suggests, "Let's start again." I was reminded of this by a quote from the Times piece by one home baker: “I can tell a margarine cookie as soon as I bite into it...And then I put it right down.”

The butter/margarine divide has a long history in Missouri, where, since 1895, yellow margarine has been illegal. (The legislation was likely put in place to protect the state's dairy industry) A state legislator wants to overturn the archaic law, which still exacts a hefty penalty from those who disobey it. However, if the Times is to be believed, this is not an option any serious baker would ever entertain - no matter what commercially-minded professionals might do.

Truth to tell, their butter breakdown is super-helpful, even to the casual baker. As we all know, sometimes baked stuff just doesn't turn out. According to this piece, the culprit is probably the delicious butter, which is very likely at the wrong temperature. These were the facts we found most pertinent and revelatory:

-- "For mixing and creaming, butter should be about 65 degrees: cold to the touch but warm enough to spread. Just three degrees warmer, at 68 degrees, it begins to melt."
-- "Warm butter can be rechilled and refrozen, but once the butterfat gets warm, the emulsion breaks, never to return."
-- "For clean edges on cookies and for even baking, doughs and batters should stay cold — place them in the freezer when the mixing bowl seems to be warming up. And just before baking, cookies should be very well chilled, or even frozen hard."
-- "Butter should be creamed — beaten to soften it and to incorporate air — for at least three minutes."
-- "The best way to get frozen or refrigerated butter ready for creaming is to cut it into chunks. (Never use a microwave: it will melt it, even though it will look solid.) When the butter is still cold, but takes the imprint of a finger when gently pressed, it is ready to be creamed."
-- "When using a stand mixer, attach the paddle blade, and never go above medium speed, or the butter will heat up."
-- The best butters are "salted Kerrygold from Ireland, unsalted Kate’s Homemade Butter from Old Orchard Beach, Me., and a 'limited edition' cultured butter from Organic Valley, made from May to September, when cows are outside at least part of the time, eating grass rather than feed. Butter from grass-fed cows, rich in beta carotene, is more yellow (not higher in butterfat, as many believe)."
-- "Most important is that butter be well preserved. Mr. Bradley recommends wrapping butter that’s not going to be used immediately in foil, then sealing the edges with tape. Or using it quickly."
[nytimes, usatoday via jezebel]

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In Dreams They Come...

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

1. Those raised in the age before color television may dream in black and white.

2. The blind often dream without visual images.

who knew?

[nytimes via slog]

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Bubbly's Bubble Burst:

Friday, December 05, 2008

we should have seen it coming...
CHAMPAGNE has long been associated with luxury, success and extravagance, thanks to a constrained supply, clever marketing, literary associations and powerful customers, from the Russian imperial court, for whom Roederer’s Cristal was invented, to Sir Winston Churchill, who downed copious amounts of Pol Roger. Over the past two decades champagne shipments went up by an average of 2.2% a year. Recently some markets have grown even faster: America’s consumption rose by 3.5% a year, Britain’s by 4.2% and Japan’s by a foaming 18.1% between 2002 and 2007.

[via economist]

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A Brief History of the Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree [What Christmas Means To Me]

Thursday, December 04, 2008

being away from new york city has no advantages for a city boy like myself. for me, it just promotes longing. growing up so close in jersey, it just seemed normal to care about what was going on in the big apple, even though i wasn't actually there. you get used to the way new york does things, and like riding a bike, they're ingrained in you forever. a few examples:

- the "tri-state area" will always be ny/nj/ct, no matter where i live.
- i will always refer to the following networks simply by their new york station numbers, cbs/2, nbc/4, fox/5, abc/7, no matter where i live. (i get caught up in this on a daily basis)
- i never say "the city" unless i'm talking about new york city.
- the only tree lighting at christmas, as far as i always knew, was in rockefeller center.
and so, as i watched the tree lighting last night, i felt as if i was a world away down here in virginia. virginians don't care much for the city's tree, (they cut the televised broadcast to an hour so they could show reruns of deal or no deal). i tivo'd it so that i can watch it over and over again and feel like i'm there. it was so nice being an $8 tunnel ride away... nyc during the holidays, is what christmas means to me.

As thousands of Americans nationwide witness the December 3 lighting of the gigantic tree in Rockefeller Center, TIME looks back at the tannebaum's origins:
Humble Beginnings - Today it's a multimillion-dollar extravaganza that attracts thousands of tourists every year, but the Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree hasn't always been so glamorous. On Christmas Eve 1931, with the nation mired in the Great Depression, a group of construction workers erected a 20-foot tree on the muddy site of what would become one of the city's greatest architectural and commercial monuments. Despite their grim faces, the men had cause to celebrate. Unlike most of their colleagues, they were about to get paid. (Notice the wooden crate at the foot of the tree and the clerk behind it dispensing checks). Two years later, a Rockefeller Center publicist organized the first official tree-lighting ceremony.
War on Christmas? - In 1942, Rockefeller Center unveiled three small trees dedicated to the war effort — each trimmed in either red, white or blue. Though it wasn't the first time more than one Christmas tree stood there (two were erected in 1936 to celebrate the opening of the skating rink), it was the first time organizers announced that the trees would be replanted after the holiday season. In 1944, in keeping with wartime black-out regulations, the trees remained unlit, as did every other outdoor Christmas tree in the city that year. After the war's end in 1945, organizers more than made up for the previous years of darkness by using six ultraviolet light projectors to make all 700 fluorescent globes on that year's tree appear to glow in the dark.
Television Debut - In 1951, NBC televised its first tree lighting on The Kate Smith Show, hosted by the "first lady of radio" herself (above). From 1953 to 1955, children across America watched the ceremony on Howdy Doody. Since then, the tree lighting has featured a number of famous personalities — Barbara Walters in 1972, Bob Hope in 1982, Lily Tomlin in 1985 and Liza Minnelli in 1990. This year, Miss Piggy and Stephen Colbert will be in attendance.
Christmas Conservation - Spurred by the growing environmental movement, Rockefeller Center recycled its first Christmas tree in 1971, turning it into 30 three-bushel bags of mulch for the nature trails of upper Manhattan. Other organizations to later benefit from the leftover lumber include the Boy Scouts, the Girl Scouts and, most recently, Habitat for Humanity, which in 2005 used the wood to make door frames for homes in New York, Louisiana, India and Brazil.
Adornments & Ornaments - The tree's decorations have come a long way since 1931, when tin cans and scrap paper replaced garland and glass. In 1934, organizers festooned that year's evergreen with 1,200 colored lights and ornaments shaped like dogs, horses, giraffes, sailboats and stars. A public-address system also piped in holiday tunes, creating the effect of a "singing tree." The 1950s saw a white spray-painted tree, the return of garlands made of cranberries and popcorn (or at least, plastic balls that resembled them) and 10-foot-long aluminum icicles that turned treacherous in high winds. In 1954, Saks Fifth Avenue inadvertently created midtown traffic jams with its 32-foot-high display of aluminum angels floating along the building's facade (above). And for a few brief minutes in 1980, a human body adorned the tree before police could arrest the man who had unsuccessfully tried scaling it.
The Great Hunt - Nowadays, finding the perfect tree is a daunting task reserved for Rockefeller Center's garden manager. But this has not always been the case. In 1956, a polite (or perhaps proud) New Hampshire man presented a 65-foot White Spruce to the state's Governor, who in turn offered it to Rockefeller Center as a gift from New York's neighbor to the north. Ten years later, Canada delivered a 64-foot White spruce in honor of its 100th birthday — the first Rockefeller Christmas Tree raised out of the U.S. Today, a helicopter is used to scour New England for the perfect specimen. This year, the winning evergreen is a 72-foot-tall Norway spruce from New Jersey. Its owner, Bill Varanyak, dubbed it "the miracle tree," telling local reporters that his late mother always predicted it would one day stand at Rockefeller Center. Varanyak's parents had planted the tree in 1931, the very year the tradition began.
A Star Is Born - Last month, pop star Fergie unveiled the 550-pound Swarovski Star, created for the Rockefeller Christmas Tree by German artist Michael Hammers for the 100-year-old Austrian company. Standing 10 feet tall and composed of 25,000 crystals with a total of 1 million facets, it is the largest star to ever top the tree and the first to represent a corporate sponsor. Neither the crystal maker nor Rockefeller Center will disclose how much money changed hands, but some speculate Swarovski paid as much as $1.5 million for the rights to the tree's crown. Either way, it is a far cry from the 4-foot plastic star used during the 1950s and 60s or the fiberglass, gold-leaf star that adorned the tree during the late 1990s.
Let There Be Light - New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg had the honor of flipping the switch during the 2007 tree-lighting ceremony, illuminating the more than 30,000 energy-saving LEDs that were part of NBC's latest attempt to go green. Compared to the tree's old incandescent bulbs, the new light-emitting diodes used 1,200 kilowatt hours less electricity per day, enough to power a 2,000-square-foot home for a month. Even so, the new lights did not win universal praise; some complained the tiny lights weren't as appealing as old-fashioned incandescents, while others decried NBC's glowing coverage, so to speak, of the eco-friendly move — noting that NBC's parent company, General Electric, manufactured the bulbs.

[time via thedailynightly]

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Dear Fellow Constituent,

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

The George W. Bush Presidential Library is now in the planning stages and accepting donations.

The Library will include:

-The Hurricane Katrina Room, which is still under construction.
-The Alberto Gonzales Room, where you won't be able to remember anything.
-The Texas Air National Guard Room, where you don't even have to show up.
-The Walter Reed Hospital Room, where they don't let you in.
-The Guantanamo Bay Room, where they don't let you out.
-The Weapons of Mass Destruction Room, which no one has been able to find.
-The National Debt Room, which is Huge and has no ceiling.
-The Tax Cut Room, with entry only to the wealthy.
-The Economy Room, which is in the toilet.
-The Iraq War Room. (After you complete your first visit, they make you to go back for a second, third, fourth, and sometimes fifth visit.)
-The Dick Cheney Room, in the famous undisclosed location, complete with shotgun gallery.
-The Environmental Conservation Room, still empty.
-The Supreme Gift Shop, where you can buy an election.
-The Men's Room, where you can meet some of your favorite Republican Senators.
-The Decider Room, complete with dart board, magic 8-ball, Ouija board, dice, coins, and straws.
**Note: The library will feature an electron microscope to help you locate and view the President's accomplishments.

The library will also include many famous quotes by George W. Bush:
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."
"We're have the best educated American people in the world."
"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."
PLEASE GIVE GENEROUSLY!

Sincerely,

Jack Abramoff, Co-Chair
G.W. Bush Library Board of Directors

[via imjustsayin]

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My Ugly Mugg.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

in case you don't get to look at enough of my ugly mugg on these here internets, i highly recommend you pick up a copy of seth godin's new book, Tribes: We Need You to Lead Us, from amazon or a bookstore near you. in it, not only will you get a sexy picture of my face on the dust jacket, but you'll also enjoy the newest literary gem by the marketing genius that is, seth godin.

[buy 'tribes' on amazon]

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Lunar Lincoln

Thursday, November 13, 2008

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Not David Letterman's Top 10...

Monday, November 10, 2008

researchers at oxford university have compiled a list of the top 10 most irritating phrases in the english language. #1 on said list, i could not agree with more.

i had a boss once, who after EVERY damn sentence would conclude her thought with, "at the end of the day i/we/you {summarization of previous thought}." i think it's a phrase that people like to use when they truly enjoy hearing themselves speak.

1 - at the end of the day
2 - fairly unique
3 - i personally
4 - at this moment in time
5 - with all due respect
6 - absolutely
7 - it's a nightmare
8 - shouldn't of
9 - 24/7
10 - it's not rocket science
[via telegraph]

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Red Sex, Blue Sex [Hypocrit Gang Bang]

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

in case i haven't mentioned it, I CANNOT WAIT FOR THIS ELECTION TO BE OVER. my election anxiety has reached such levels that i can't even read an article about britney spears being crazy without drawing a parallel to sarah palin or that quack nancy pfuckingsucks.

this article is the latest of many that has me heated. in a seriously brief summary, it's an in-depth look at some of the most important issues of the conservative party's base, and how they are blatantly critical of "liberal extremists'" views of said issues. i especially enjoy the parts about how the evangelicals criticize the left for their liberal views on sex education, and how it leads to teen pregnancy; yet in a recent study of states teen pregnancy rates, red states had the highest rates of teen pregnancy. but i'm sure it's not because republicans can be whores too, rather because democratic teen-whores go tramping to red states to pop their wombs and fuck up their statistics before tramping back to jersey. (that's a really good right wing theory, just typing it makes me feel all dirty and republican-y.) my summary does the article no justice. it's lengthy, but worth a read.

In early September, when Sarah Palin, the Republican candidate for Vice-President, announced that her unwed seventeen-year-old daughter, Bristol, was pregnant, many liberals were shocked, not by the revelation but by the reaction to it. They expected the news to dismay the evangelical voters that John McCain was courting with his choice of Palin. Yet reports from the floor of the Republican Convention, in St. Paul, quoted dozens of delegates who seemed unfazed, or even buoyed, by the news. A delegate from Louisiana told CBS News, “Like so many other American families who are in the same situation, I think it’s great that she instilled in her daughter the values to have the child and not to sneak off someplace and have an abortion.” A Mississippi delegate claimed that “even though young children are making that decision to become pregnant, they’ve also decided to take responsibility for their actions and decided to follow up with that and get married and raise this child.” Palin’s family drama, delegates said, was similar to the experience of many socially conservative Christian families. As Marlys Popma, the head of evangelical outreach for the McCain campaign, told National Review, “There hasn’t been one evangelical family that hasn’t gone through some sort of situation.” In fact, it was Popma’s own “crisis pregnancy” that had brought her into the movement in the first place... {con't}
[via thenewyorker]

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The Great Santini [Potent Quotables]

Thursday, October 16, 2008


You get a little moody sometimes but I think that’s because you like to read. People that like to read are always a little fucked up. --Pat Conroy via hydeordie

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Mr. Miyagi's Pest Control Service...

Friday, October 10, 2008

ok, i lied. i know i said that i was taking the day off, but for the first time in months, i am actually awake at 10:28 in the morning. (usually when my posts go up this early, it's because i have written them the night before.) my other option right now is listening to good 'ol w. telling me what's wrong with the economy on tv (thanks for nothing); so i would much rather use the time to put up another post.

i read an article on the life hackery this morning about things that you should do before you die. unlike my bucket list which is more about specific events, this list is more about skills to practice at least once in your life. this one seemed ridiculous until i read on and saw the usefulness?!? of it:

5. Catch[ing] a fly with a chopstick. Yes, it was a skill that was made famous by the movie “The Karate Kid” and no, you don’t have to be Japanese to learn it. This skill is actually more useful than just ridding your house of those pesky insects. It enhances your hand-eye coordination to such a degree that you may even be able to beat the hardest video games known to man. On a more useful note, great reflexes are always a plus in many jobs. Who knows, with great reflex, you might even be able to dodge bullets. Really though, enhanced hand-eye coordination and reflex skills will get you far in life.

Useful for:
--Dodging balls, cars, and other things that may harm you
--Catching fish in streams if ever you decide to live in the mountains
--Pest exterminators
[via lifehackery]

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Chock Full O'McCain Insults...

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

BEWARE! the liberal media monster has returned! (that's my new handle when i'm about to write about something from the "liberal media.") i wrote about the make-believe maverick article from rolling stone on friday, and for those of you without the attention span to read through ten whole pages of type, the good folks at jezebel have sifted through the contents of said article to provide you with a new list of john mccain insults. you know, in case you are like the rest of the world, and are sick of hearing the same old (no pun intended) mccainisms — out of touch, unfunny, wrong on the issues, quick-to-anger, cap'n crappypants — day after day. so here, without further adeu, are jezebel's gifts to the world:

-- From former POW John Dramesi: "he's still the undisciplined, spoiled brat that he was when he went in [to the Navy]"
-- "George W. Bush was a much better pilot."
-- "a man who has consistently put his own advancement above all else"
-- "a man willing to say and do anything to achieve his ultimate ambition"
-- "John McCain is his own special interest."
-- Former Republican Senator Lincoln Chafee says, "McCain is putting himself first. He's putting himself first in blinking neon lights."
-- "John Sidney McCain III has spent most of his life trying to escape the shadow of greater men."
-- High school nicknames included "Punk" and "McNasty."
-- One former classmate called him, "a mean little fucker."
...continued article on jezebel.com

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