last august i wrote THIS post about new books that you shouldn't bother reading. included on that list was 'i hope they serve beer in hell' by tucker max.* a week later, someone sent me a copy with a post-it note on the the cover that said nothing more than, "you're going to love this!" it's been in the back of my car ever since.
two weeks ago i was in barnes & noble looking for a new book to read and asked the cute bookrista if she had any recommendations. after explaining that i enjoyed the sarcastic wit of david sedaris and augusten burroughs, but had already read all of their books, she recommended that i read tucker max. she continued, "he's like david sedaris before he quit smoking, meets an immature augusten burroughs." that, my friends, sounded good to me. so i left. and when i got home i dug the paperback out of the back of my car and started reading.
four chapters in, i realized that it had been a really long time since i had laughed that hard while reading a book. i'm still not finished with it, and it's getting even better page by page.
*[don't bother squinting to read this, it's not that important.] ok, so i was wrong. it's a good book. fuck it, it's a great book. hell, i may even go see the movie. the blow from admitting that i was wrong seems less severe if i write it in smaller font and hide it in the footnote. so that's what i'm doing.
there was a time, in the not so distant past, that i hated to admit that i loved the band panic at the disco. it was one of those relationships, where i tried so hard not to like them, that it actually made me fall in love even harder. and faster.
the other day i posted a song from their new album called northern downpour. my friend reesa emailed me from the uk to tell me that she too, like i did, hated to admit that she loved it. and she downloaded the entire album on itunes. (hell yeah!) nothing makes me happier than introducing enjoyable music to others that they may not have given a chance to otherwise.
p@td's first album was intriguing because of the classic disco/classical music composition of it. they've since evolved into something so much deeper. and so much harder to ignore. some douche on youtube commented on one of their videos saying that they were copying the beatles. but aren't all musicians inspired by their predecessors? and of all groups to be inspired by, wouldn't the beatles be a good choice? like they say, "imitation is the sincerest form of flattery." and i must agree. and i also agree that the inspiration of panic at the disco's new album "pretty. odd." seems to be a cross section of abbey road and the white album. and with that, i offer you another piece of their awesomeness, when the day met the night.
i know that you are all excited because you saw the title of this post, and now you see a video a little further down, and you just can't wait to press play in hopes of seeing an encore presentation of new edition singing 'popcorn love.' i'll tell you right now that i'm sorry to disappoint.
if you recall a while back, i wrote a post about artists that you should have on your ipod but probably don't, hopefully you've expanded your horizons and listened to some of them. i know some of you appreciated them so much that you even downloaded their albums; to which i say "i'm glad i could share the love." i have a new edition for that list though. a number six. joshua radin. i know that he's by no means "new," but somehow, until this week, he has flown under my radar like john mccain in spain.** in fact, i haven't been listening to much else this week, other than his song 'today'(below) and 'suite: judy blue eyes'(which i actually woke up singing this morning). joshua's music was featured as far back as the soundtrack of garden state, which is one of the most fantastic soundtracks ever, but again i must admit, i missed him. in this clip, from the ellen degeneres show, she introduces him as this generation's simon & garfunkel. in one sentence, there is no better way to describe him. he is a true singer/songwriter with a real skill for storytelling. and if his music isn't awesome enough, he even covers 'only you' by yazoo aka yaz! (the most underrated song of 1982). i hope you enjoy him as much as i do.
**"flying over...spain one day, [mccain] decided to deviate from his flight plan. rocketing along...his plane sliced through a power line." [rolling stone]
i don't want to say that i called it, but... i called it. back in august i wrote a post about 5 books that you shouldn't bother reading. in the last two days, two of the douchenozzles that i wrote about have made it into the news. maybe not headline news, but news nonetheless. check it:
so much for the belligerent and debaucherous exploits of the fuck-a-chick-and-go blogger and filmmaker tucker max. what of those only tangentially related to him? well, a 21-year-old uconn student who called tucker "my hero" was arrested last weekend for "allegedly forcing his way into a sleeping woman's apartment and raping her." how's that for a positive role model in the media? this has been your tucker max and associates update.
it ain't easy being lynne spears: sure, you can live off the wealth accumulated from your daughters' hard work and sell their teen pregnancy secrets to ok! magazine for a million dollars, but occasionally, people will think you're a bad parent! that's why it's important for lynne to set the record straight, and the today show gave her just the forum yesterday. hawking her book through the storm, lynne discussed the perils of overexposing your children, something that will surely be nipped in the bud by her incredibly revealing tell-all about daughter britney's loss of virginity. congratulations, lynne: here's your celebratory cheeto.
some music, like that of the jonas brothers, is better left unheard. some movies, like those starring tom cruise, are better left unseen. some jokes, like those told by jay leno, are best left unlaughed at. similarly, some books are better left unread. these 5 can be found cluttering the shelves of a bookstore near you. (do the world a favor and leave them there.)
"my porn tapesucked or didn't(?) i don't know, but it wasn't good; and my career is over. so how about i dish dirt on all of my mildly more successful co-stars of a show that ended 15 years ago." good idea screech, you do that.
tucker max is a self-described king of douchebaggery. he drinks too much, fondles women, causes scenes and generally acts like that guy that no one ever wants to be around. but he's proud of it. so proud that he wrote a book about it. and word on the street is there's a movie is in the works too. tom cruise deserves to play this douchebag.
this book was originally titled "the lynne spears guide to fucking up your children," but for some reason they switched it up just before publication. too bad for them, they missed the perfect mother's day window for release. this book will no doubt prove instructive to any stage mother willing to milk her daughters for all they're worth, subsequently ignoring them when their pregnancies/mental breakdowns interfere with a novelty t-shirt sale at kitson.
nothing says "i'm tired of being a nobody and living in my sister's shadow" like an unauthorized biography/tell-all. this douche rivals tucker max in the royalty department. word in the valley is that he only wrote it as a bitch slap because guy ritchie doesn't like him because he's gay. get over it. write a book about your boring life you hack.
the follow-up to, no joke, outrage:how illegal immigration, the united nations, congressional ripoffs, student loan overcharges, tobacco companies, trade protection, and drug companies are ripping us off... and what to do about it. and stay tuned for their next book, for which i even came up with a title for them- "passed out: what you are by the time you have read halfway through the title of any of our books, why books like this aren't covered under major bookstore return policies, and why you shouldn't care what we have to say because we are hacks... and what you can't do about it." eh? ehh? what a title!?! dickie, eileen, call me... i'll lease you the name rights.
i got about two dozen emails yesterday about the dawn metschele song 'dominoes' that i posted in the morning. my friend jacki emailed me and said that she wanted me to send her a list of unknown artists that i listen to, because "[i] always find the good shit." so jacki, and anyone else that's interested, here's my top 5 list of artist's that you should have on your ipod, but probably don't.
1: zach macko & far north it's the reincarnation of the group you've heard me call the 'zach macko band' in the past. same singer/songwriters, zach macko & jeff soriano, new band. i've been listening to these guys for years, often making the three hour trek north to hoboken when i was living in atlantic city. though i haven't had the opportunity to see them live in some time, seldom does a day go by that i don't hear a song or two from one of their albums in my car or on my ipod. 'songs from my room' and their second album 'the doorway' offer what a like to call 'a view from the hudson;' comforting, both lyrically and musically, zach macko & far north captures the essence of what living in the big apple and being from jersey is all about- passion, truth and bitter honesty.
2: brendan james i remember when i was younger, hearing george winston tapping the ivories and having chills run down my spine. brendan james offers that same musical invigoration along with lyrics that leave me emotionally contented. his recently released album 'the day is brave,' is honest and raw from beginning to end, with lyrics that many, especially myself, can relate to. if there is one thing that i can't stand in music, it's when amazing singing and songwriting like brendan's is over-produced; brendan james is anythingeverything but.
3: steve means cd baby describes his music as "sounding like sex in the musical form," and in some respects, i'd have to agree. each song has a true beginning, middle and end, with an endless string of aural pleasure that weaves throughout. he has that uncanny ability to transport you someplace else with his lyrics and his melodic hooks. a transportation that i often look for in my regular musical selections. another musical relationship made thanks to the glories of myspace.
4: sharon little i first heard sharon little when i watched that new tv show the cleaner, where her song 'follow that sound' plays during the ending credits. that song perfectly mirrors the emotional rollercoaster that the characters of the show face each and every episode. it's without a doubt some of the most soulful music on my ipod, but with enough pop & funk to keep me listening. definately a cool find.
5: two spot gobi i highly recommend the melodious funk of two spot gobi, especially if you are trying to set a new world record for cleaning your house. throw your buds in your ears with 'sunshine lady' on repeat, and guaranteed- your ENTIRE house will be clean in 30 minutes. rarely does a group have the ability to put such pep in your step like this group, but they consistantly do it with each track. and what's cooler than a band with cello? nothing. i bet michael phelps listens to 'sunshine lady' on his ipod before every race.
music is a very personal thing; much like our DNA, no two people posess the exact same taste in music. that's what makes it so great. with that being said, i offer these tunes as recommendations- take them or leave them, but at least give them a chance. you can get info about live performances, as well as check out more of their songs on myspace by clicking the links under each artist's video; and they all have their music available for cheap on itunes. happy listening...
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it's been a while since i have attempted to push my somewhat eclectic musical tastes on you, my dear readers. but this song was absolutely too fantastic not to pass on. most of you are aware on my penchant for all things jason mraz and the like, and san diego native dawn mitschele is, well, jason mraz with a vagina. this song is called dominoes, go ahead, take a listen.
so i'm not sure if you're anything like me, but being the 'off the cuff cuisine' chef that i am, i try not to let anything go to waste. you know, when you bring home some bk or mickey d's, and after consuming your poor excuse for food, have ketchup packets or sauce shots left over that you throw in the door and forget about. same goes for chinese food, and you know they always give you enough sauce to put out a fire at the pentagon with your order. you throw them in your refrigerator door and forget about them. then one day you're trying to impress some last minute guests that have decided to stay at your place for dinner and all you have in your 'gourmet' kitchen are some ramen noodles, frozen veggies and some leftover grilled chicken from last weekend's cookout. the makings of a superb, on-the-fly stirfry. but wait, OH SHIT!, how are you going to make a sauce for your stirfry with no sauce? you look in the fridge and all you see is a bottle of ketchup, french's mustard (i use the term mustard loosely when describing french's), and a jar of pickle juice. oh no, what to do, what to do. then you bust open the butter holder, that invariably has never seen a stick of butter in it's life, and VOILA! soy sauce, duck sauce, hot mustard! packets, but instant chinkychow sauce nonetheless! each one of those packets, collected over time, came from a meal, inevitably eaten over conversation, an argument or during a lone lunch of self-reflection, came from a time and place in the past. as are our lessons learned. we learn through the years how to cope, how to inspire, how to teach, and how to live. we don't always remember those lessons, as we throw condiment packets in the fridge we throw life-lessons into the back of our heads, until one day we find ourself in a situation where it becomes relevant and we pull them from the back of our minds as to not waste the advice and lessons of the past. the moral of this story, and the linking of it to my blog- our life experiences are our 'soy sauce packets,' our hidden links to our experiences of our past...
e·piph·a·ny - noun - a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience. [www.dictionary.com]
the epiphanies that we experience in life, questions or situations that we find ourselves in, and don't know how to resolve, can most often be solved my raking our brains in search of a 'soy sauce packet.' an answer to a question. a solution to a problem. and so this, this blog, is simply an ever-expanding culmination of soy sauce packets in my butter box, and the epiphanies that have helped to make room for more butter in my fridge...
last august i wrote THIS post about new books that you shouldn't bother reading. included on that list was 'i hope they serve beer in hell' by tucker max.* a week later, someone sent me a copy with a post-it note on the the cover that said nothing more than, "you're going to love this!" it's been in the back of my car ever since.
