I Hate to Bring Up Politics, But...
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
"is this rickety old turd seriously considering running for president in 2012?" i loved him on law & order, but come on! [via slog]
Dear Fellow Constituent,
The George W. Bush Presidential Library is now in the planning stages and accepting donations.
The Library will include:
-The Hurricane Katrina Room, which is still under construction.**Note: The library will feature an electron microscope to help you locate and view the President's accomplishments.
-The Alberto Gonzales Room, where you won't be able to remember anything.
-The Texas Air National Guard Room, where you don't even have to show up.
-The Walter Reed Hospital Room, where they don't let you in.
-The Guantanamo Bay Room, where they don't let you out.
-The Weapons of Mass Destruction Room, which no one has been able to find.
-The National Debt Room, which is Huge and has no ceiling.
-The Tax Cut Room, with entry only to the wealthy.
-The Economy Room, which is in the toilet.
-The Iraq War Room. (After you complete your first visit, they make you to go back for a second, third, fourth, and sometimes fifth visit.)
-The Dick Cheney Room, in the famous undisclosed location, complete with shotgun gallery.
-The Environmental Conservation Room, still empty.
-The Supreme Gift Shop, where you can buy an election.
-The Men's Room, where you can meet some of your favorite Republican Senators.
-The Decider Room, complete with dart board, magic 8-ball, Ouija board, dice, coins, and straws.
The library will also include many famous quotes by George W. Bush:
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."PLEASE GIVE GENEROUSLY!
"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."
"We're have the best educated American people in the world."
"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."
Sincerely,
Jack Abramoff, Co-Chair
G.W. Bush Library Board of Directors
[via imjustsayin] Read more...
The Virtual Nag Wife [The Japanese Think of Everything]
the virtual wife, a new japanese cell phone service, ensures that busy japanese businessmen eat nutritiously even when their wife isn't there to remind them. the free service sends four text messages to a subscriber per day encouraging him to watch his calorie intake and avoid unhealthy foods. men can choose from four wives, a professional woman, a "kind, pretty" housewife, a young "sporty" trendsetter, and a maid. coincidentally, no "virtual husbands" are available.
[inventorspot]
When the Question is,
"How long is long enough before it isn't considered too insensitive to present the side-by-side you've been dying to post since William Balfour was first identified as a person of interest in the nightmarish Jennifer Hudson family killings?" we're afraid the answer is, "There exists no sufficient length of time." With news that Hudson's estranged brother-in-law was finally arrested today, however, we could resist no longer.
[via defamer]
Reason Number 2,987,452,001...
...that george w. bush is a douchenozzle: (in case you needed another)
w's dastardly plan to push through the "provider conscience" rule, that could enable healthcare workers to refuse to participate in anything they object to on moral grounds, continues. the l.a. times is saying that the rule could have wider-reaching consequences than previously thought. it goes way beyond abortion, the paper notes: "it could reach disputes over contraception, sperm donations and end-of-life care." the times also offers four examples of women being refused treatment that had devastating results.
"In calling for limits on “conscientious refusals,” [the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology] cited four recent examples. In Texas, a pharmacist rejected a rape victim's prescription for emergency contraception. In Virginia, a 42-year-old mother of two became pregnant after being refused emergency contraception. In California, a physician refused to perform artificial insemination for a lesbian couple. (In August, the California Supreme Court ruled that this refusal amounted to illegal discrimination based on sexual orientation.) And in Nebraska, a 19-year-old with a life-threatening embolism was refused an early abortion at a religiously affiliated hospital.[READ MORE via latimes] Read more...
...and there will be Peace on Earth.
check out keurigs on:
[via greenmountaincafe] Read more...
The Big Picture: Mumbai
“It appears to be the work of unbelievable motherfuckers, working in tandem with giant assholes.” -The Daily Show correspondent John Oliver, on who perpetrated the Mumbai terror attacks.
[via claudiacatalina]
Me, Lookin' Like I Got Beat Up.
so yesterday i'm sitting on this HORRENDOUS conference call for work and my eye starts itching. i couldn't leave the desk at that moment, so i just itched away. i itched it so much that my eyelid was raw. an hour later, the itch was gone, but my eye looked like this:
and trust me, it's even sexier this morning.
Karma.
Hillary Clinton - Madame SecretaryI love it when deserving women get the last laugh.
Sarah Palin - Festering in Alaska
[via jgh] Read more...
Bag-o-Douche
All Apologies:
In something of an exit interview, Bush tells ABC News that he "was unprepared for war" and regrets the intelligence failures that led him to invade Iraq.He'd like to be remembered by Americans this way:
[via slog] Read more..."I hope they feel that this is a guy that came, didn't sell his soul for politics, had to make some tough decisions, and did so in a principled way."
Bye, Bye Bush
amazing. the telegraph has posted some absolutely priceless george w. bush photos from some of his most embarassing moments, as a means of saying goodbye to the worst president ever. here are a few gems:
[telegraph via geekadelphia]
Damn, Do I Miss It.
every restaurant you work in leaves a mark on you. sometimes it's just a scrape, sometimes it's a scar, and sometimes it leaves you tattooed - changed forever. your scrapes are probably few. the impact of these kitchens may have hit you hard initially, but in time those marks will fade, along with your memories of these places. what were the dishes we were cooking there? who was that guy i worked pantry with? was there even a chef there? often these places were your stepping stones. these are the places that didn't necessarily inspire you or maybe they did, until you realized that maybe thai/mexican fusion wasn't your thing and you split. but no worries, these places don't remember you either. when you go by for a visit (if they're still in business) you recognize no one. the menu is full of the same stuff you were cooking years ago. the only change is that the floors are a little more worn, and the kitchen is covered in a new layer of grease. the lessons you took away with you seem remedial now; learning what the sanitizer dispenser looks like, what a 6th pan is, and how to brunoise pancetta perfectly, to name a few. you might even leave this place off of your resume.
a restaurant that scars you usually does so physically and mentally. i'm not talking emotional scars, although there might be a few of those. i'm talking about a change in the way you approach your work... that eventually starts to spill over into your personal life. your inner clock starts to adjust to your nocturnal lifestyle. when you walk the crowded aisles of a grocery store you say "behind you." your technique starts to come around, and you start to understand the language of the kitchen. spanish starts to pop up when you're talking to your friends. food looks different now. eating out, you can identify ingredients, techniques, and see a chef's style coming out. these scars are your foundation, and these years are the ones you refer to as the good old days. you pay your dues here, and come away with confidence, and hunger for the next challenge.
the kitchens that tattoo you are the most rare. these places hold a place in your heart reserved for family, your girlfriend, and anything else deeply important to you. after working here you talk differently. you listen differently. your very dna morphs into something new. and it goes both ways. you leave your mark, and you can see it rubbing off on others daily. everyone uses the same phrases, and holds themselves to the same standards. conversations ramble on and on about cooking. time spent out of the kitchen is still spent together, as a team, eating out or going to markets. on your days off you miss the kitchen. you look back on yourself before you came here, and that person is almost unrecognizable.
so the question is, how are you leaving your mark? is your impact something positive? are you contributing something? are you a part of it? or just skirting along the edges? do the other cooks mimic your style? do they listen when you speak? are you able to see the big picture - balancing the personal side and the business side? is everyone working towards the same goals? is everyone even comfortable talking about their goals? will your time spent here be something that influences and changes the other cooks careers?
i've made a difference.
and damn, do i miss it. Read more...
"I've always been one to believe that buying used sex toys at garage sales was a good thing." -Marta Stuart
a box of used sex toys has been stolen from lovehoney, an online adult store. the toys were left in a box outside the company's bath, england office over the weekend and were destined for recycling.[via jezebel] Read more...(lovehoney's rabbit amnesty program allows customers to send back dead vibrators and receive a new one for half price. so far 5 tons of used toys have been recycled.) lovehoney warns, "if someone sidles up to you in a pub and offers you a cheap rabbit, tell 'em where to get off."
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