Dear F*cktard Who Found My Phone, [NSFW]

Friday, November 28, 2008

this letter is in response to "dear racist asshole" from a few weeks ago.

you found my phone, snooped through my text messages and decided i was a bigot. congratulations buddy! you've taken the first step towards eliminating racism!

i am not a racist; i am only guilty of having friends who tell stupid jokes. just like you, i don't have any control over what filth people send to my phone. i also had no say in my phone being stolen from my work, my privacy being invaded by a thief (that would be you), or having some ignorant fuck call me a racist. you are an asshole.

personally, i would have loved for you to have actually called my mom. not only would i have gotten my phone back, but she could have explained to you that we shed joyous tears together on november 5th. was it because we were mourning the loss of the white race? oh no. we are lifelong democrats and we are also black people. you've heard of black people, right? they're the ones you're righteously crusading for, you piece of shit. however, you may have never seen one up close all the way up there on your high horse.

also, way to lie about that "loving black cock" text message. a quick survey of my friends proved your story to be false. not only are you a thief, you're also a self-aggrandizing liar. stay classy!

judging from the comments left on the previous i, anonymous column, there are quite a few grumpy white people in town who are interested in punishing racists. (on a side note, are we really still having the debate about why it's okay for black people to say "cracker" but not okay for white people to say nigger? really?) just out of curiosity, where were all of you when washington state voters repealed affirmative action? what are you all doing on a daily basis to increase the number of african-americans who graduate from high school? or go on to higher education? oh, i'm sorry, i see you are all too busy passing judgment on me and my personal, private text messages to concern yourselves with actual racism.

-anonymous black person with no phone

[via slog]

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