My I.Q. Dropped 20 Points...

Thursday, February 07, 2008

there is no doubt in my mind that when i walked through the doors of wal-mart tonight, my i.q. dropped 20 points. i've always hated the place, i even boycotted it when i was in college. unfortunately, it's the only option for groceries up in these parts unless you want to pay $7.00 for a pound of sugar at the local deli. i'm not really sure what it is about that place, why people think it's so great. i get it, it's cheap, but is it really worth the frustration that goes along with low prices? tonight i felt like everyone i came in contact with was at least mildly retarded. for example, the lady at the register chucks my dozen eggs into a bag and then says: "oh, that's a first, i broke your eggs." really lady? that's the first time that launched a dozen eggs into a bag sitting on a hard counter and they broke? no way! i didn't even bother replacing them, i wasn't about to walk a mile and a half across the store to get a new dozen, and i damn sure wasn't gonna wait for (insert redneck name here) to get them and bring them to me. not after i got in the shortest line in the place and it still took 40 minutes to get through because one lady was paying with a check, yes, a check, someone apparently forgot to tell her that it's 2008, and she doesn't have a phone, therefore no phone number, therefore sam wal himself had to leave one of his sweatshops to come to the register to approve the transaction. then, her near toothless daughter had her 10 items to pay for with 15 coupons and didn't understand why the cashier wouldn't take 15 coupons for 10 items. after all that, i was happy leaving with just 10.5 eggs for $1.98. and it doesn't matter how many lines are open, or what time of day you go, there are hundreds of people there, so excited to be at wal-mart; all taking there sweet-ass time walking around the place like it's the 8th wonder of the world. (see below) i hear that some people even go on dates to wal-mart on saturday night. you'll find me in a snake den at the bronx zoo before you ever see me take a date to wal-mart, and that, for those of you who know about my extreme hatred for snakes, is some feat. and it's not just in the backwoods of pa, it was the same in north carolina, the same in south jersey, and the same in any building marked with the sign of the devil... the words: wal-mart.

exhibit a: (click here)
exhibit b: (click here)

EXPERIENCE+CHANGE=2008

4 comments:

Anonymous,  9:23 PM  

walmart sux azzzzzzzz

Crazy Momma 10:03 AM  

Hysterical...and for no other reason than it is so freaking true!

We hate WalMart nearly as much as you do. The problem here in backwoods NH is that they seem to have monopolized the market. I can go anywhere else - and pay 2-3 times as much. And when you are raising a family of 5, that just isn't an option.

Anonymous,  2:11 PM  

In response to your blog about wal mart let me just say this. No person hates wal mart more than I. I can assure you of this. I refuse to shop at any cost. I would eat my dogs crap before I would purchase one single item from that place. I have read all the books about them, pro and cons. Sadly Sam himself never intended for them to become this I can assure you. His greedy bastered of children have done this and Americans fuel the fire that burns in the devils den of each and every store. People get themselves stuck shopping at a place like that because they live beyond what they can afford. Some I admit may have few choices but based on the number of people shopping at Wally-world with a debt greater then $30,000, I can tell you they are simply stretching their budget thin and would rather by groceries from a place where my father once saw a man shake poop out of his pant leg in the parking lot (true story!) then to give up the 2 or 3 extra cases of beer a month that shopping at wal mart affords them to buy. The best part is they buy the beer their as well.
I just want to know when Americans are going to have personal responsibility; this has nothing to do with the government. We live in a free country, one where we make choices for ourselves. We vote for the president, we pick the car we drive, we pick the people we date and hang out with, and we most certainly pick where we shop. We keep the well oiled and lucrative wal mart monster alive, and one day as all monsters do, it will destroy us.
Possibly I am being over exaggerative but I think you get the point. If you don’t want your options to run out and Wal-Mart to start reading Only-Mart then we have to make other options.
Clip a coupon or two and shop at your local grocery store and support your local business.

Anonymous,  11:07 PM  

You have wayyyyyyyyyy too much time on your hands babe!....But i agree Wally world sucks!!!

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