Why I Think I'm Becoming A Redneck, Part I...

i've enjoyed redneck jokes for years. actually, that's a lie. i used to think they were easily interchangeable with low class jokes. but recently i've realized, as much as i hate to admit it, i think i may be becoming one. maybe not in the strongest sense of the word, but redneck nonetheless. i decided that it's time to take a reflective look at the core beliefs of a culture that values home, family, country and god. in the unstable world that we're living in today, those are the most important traits to have. i don't know about you, but if i had to stand before a dozen terrorists who threatened my life, i'd rather have a half dozen or so rednecks to back me up than a bunch of over-torqued musclemen. rednecks with their tire irons, squirrel guns and grit; it's only natural because that's what rednecks are made of. isn't it? i guess i could be one of those, and like i said, i feel like i am slowly becoming one. read on ya'll!

you could easily spend hours on google doing research on 'rednecks.' next time you're up at three in the morning with nothing to do, type "you might be a redneck if" in the search box, smack the 'enter' key and voila! an endless list of bad redneck jokes, half-truths, jeff foxworthy tour dates and these, an interesting group of thoughts pulled from all over the google world:

[google search criteria] - "you might be a redneck if"
-it never occurred to you to be offended by the phrase "one nation, under god."
-you've never protested about seeing the 10 commandments posted in public places.
-you still say "christmas" instead of "winter festival."
-you bow your head when someone prays.
-you stand and place your hand over your heart, with your hat off when you hear national anthem.
-you treat all american vets with great respect, and always have.
-you've never burned an american flag.
-you know what you believe and you aren't afraid to say so, no matter who is listening.
-you respect your elders and expect your kids to do the same.
-you'd give your last dollar to a friend.

so, this list makes sense to me. and seems to be quite truthful when you think about it. in which case, i'd be happy should i ever actually be called a redneck. i'm still secretly hoping that it never happens, but should it, i'll accept with a smile. i've come up with a 'top 10' list on how i'm actually subconsciously converting, but that'll be part II of this entry, so make sure you check back tomorrow ya'll.

EXPERIENCE+CHANGE=2008