How Many NY/NJ Stereotypes Can I Fit Into One Phone Conversation/Blog Post? [I Really Just Had This Conversation]

Thursday, December 18, 2008

ME: {on phone} thank you for calling (my job), my name is tony, how may i help you?

douche: yea, i need to order some (of what my job sells).

ME: i'd be happy to help you with that, may i have the zip code where you'll be sending the (stuff i sell)?

douche: hey, where you?

ME: virginia, sir.

douche: oh, really? you don't sound like you from virgeenia.

ME: i'm not sir, i'm actually from north jersey.

douche: i knew it, fuckin' joisey. i'm callin' from da bronx. we're like fuckin' nay-bahhs.

ME: yes sir, i suppose we are.

douche: why da fuck you move down dair? it stinks dair, no? well, maybe not as bad as it stanks in joisey.

ME: actually sir, i'm pretty sure that the smell in JERSEY (emphasis on the pronunciation) is just the stench from the five burroughs being blown inland by the ocean breeze.

douche: woah, woah! heh, you prolly right. so, you gonna take my or-duh or whaa?

ME: ...blah...blah...blah...

2 comments:

spleeness 5:23 PM  

omg, I got so excited when I read this. F-in' funny! I can picture it perfectly. Almost like a Jerky Boys call. (You've heard of them, right?)

tony a.k.a. isweatbutter 5:25 PM  

OMG, I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT THE JERKY BOYS! I TOTALLY THOUGHT IT WAS A PRANK, BUT THE SHITWHISTLE ENDED UP SPENDING ALMOST $300, SO I REALLY SHOULDN'T COMPLAIN. IT WOULDN'T SURPRISE ME IF THE CREDIT CARD WAS STOLEN THOUGH... :)

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