Soy Sauce Packets & Epiphanies: I have had a friend in Jesus.

i'm not sure that i've secured my ticket on the eternal damnation express with all of those i <3 jesus bumpersticker posts, so in an attempt to receive my receipt marked paid in full, i bring to you, courtesy of slog, my vote for music video of the year. it's a real gem by a lovely ~~republican~~ evangelical group called sonseed.* i'm not exactly sure of the song title, but i'm almost positive that it has something to do with not being friends with jesus.

*i’d like to again point out that the name of this band is “sonseed,” which is clearly nothing more than a euphemism for “jesus jizz.” oh, look! there's my receipt.

be sure to listen to the deep, meaningful lyrics. these are some of my favorites:

"once i tried to run | i tried to run and hide | but jesus came and found me and he touched me down inside | he is like a mountie | he always gets his man | and he’ll zap you any way he can"

that makes me want to start going back to church.

[via slog]

the story behind ssp&e:

so i'm not sure if you're anything like me, but being the 'off the cuff cuisine' chef that i am, i try not to let anything go to waste. you know, when you bring home some bk or mickey d's, and after consuming your poor excuse for food, have ketchup packets or sauce shots left over that you throw in the door and forget about. same goes for chinese food, and you know they always give you enough sauce to put out a fire at the pentagon with your order. you throw them in your refrigerator door and forget about them. then one day you're trying to impress some last minute guests that have decided to stay at your place for dinner and all you have in your 'gourmet' kitchen are some ramen noodles, frozen veggies and some leftover grilled chicken from last weekend's cookout. the makings of a superb, on-the-fly stirfry. but wait, OH SHIT!, how are you going to make a sauce for your stirfry with no sauce? you look in the fridge and all you see is a bottle of ketchup, french's mustard (i use the term mustard loosely when describing french's), and a jar of pickle juice. oh no, what to do, what to do. then you bust open the butter holder, that invariably has never seen a stick of butter in it's life, and VOILA! soy sauce, duck sauce, hot mustard! packets, but instant chinkychow sauce nonetheless! each one of those packets, collected over time, came from a meal, inevitably eaten over conversation, an argument or during a lone lunch of self-reflection, came from a time and place in the past. as are our lessons learned. we learn through the years how to cope, how to inspire, how to teach, and how to live. we don't always remember those lessons, as we throw condiment packets in the fridge we throw life-lessons into the back of our heads, until one day we find ourself in a situation where it becomes relevant and we pull them from the back of our minds as to not waste the advice and lessons of the past. the moral of this story, and the linking of it to my blog- our life experiences are our 'soy sauce packets,' our hidden links to our experiences of our past...

e·piph·a·ny - noun - a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience. [www.dictionary.com]

the epiphanies that we experience in life, questions or situations that we find ourselves in, and don't know how to resolve, can most often be solved my raking our brains in search of a 'soy sauce packet.' an answer to a question. a solution to a problem. and so this, this blog, is simply an ever-expanding culmination of soy sauce packets in my butter box, and the epiphanies that have helped to make room for more butter in my fridge...

2 comments:

Anonymous, 4:12 PM: There is just so much to say about this. I don't even know where to begin! The best thing to do, I think, is to pose a series of questions.

1. How dare Mr. Comb-Over subject a Gibson Les Paul to such atrocious piece of music. You know he was getting a hard-on behind it.

2. Was this what SNL was modeling the Culp Family sketches after? Because all I could think of was Marty and Bobbi Mohan-Culp getting down at Altadena Middle School the whole time I was watching this.

3. Can I get you to hang on to my receipt as well? I know Jesus is frowning upon some of my most recent thoughts so I'll pick it up soon. No worries though, the price was worth it!

Hilarious as usual, thanks!
tony a.k.a. isweatbutter, 12:17 AM: don't worry, it's not a real les paul, it's only a guitar hero controller! i actually think that the keyboard player was indeed bobbi mohan-culp, in the flesh. you have no need to worry, after the whole "lance burning in hell" thing, your ticket is pain in full.

:)

Soy Sauce Packets & Epiphanies

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I have had a friend in Jesus.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

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